Archive for December, 2013

Edison Square: “Ice Ice Lady”

Friday, December 6th, 2013

I know it’s a last-minute notice, but at tonight’s show in Anaheim Edison Square is going to premiere their new song — a tribute to Frozen! Lyrics follow so you can sing along:

“Ice Ice Lady”
(Apologies to Vanilla Ice)

Yo, gloves off
Let’s kick it!

Ice ice baby, ice ice baby
Story starts, something you oughta know, man,
Sister Anna wants to build a snow man.
Sister Ella just keeps her door closed,
With their parents being total no-shows.
Is she coming out? Yo — she won’t say,
Not ’till coronation day.
That’s when they finally let the castle gates open,
But the party doesn’t go like Anna’s hopin’.

Dance, with just one guy at the ball,
A model of a modern major general.
Problem, Ella gets in a major snit,
Blows her cool like a fool an’ she starts freezing shit.
Can’t understand it, why she ran away,
The queen may be a monster, that’s what they say.
The fjord’s frozen over, winter caused it,
Ella and Anna should talk and resolve it.

Ice ice lady
The queen’s an ice ice lady
Covered in ice ice baby
That wasn’t nice nice lady
The queen is.

Now that the summer is slumpin’,
All the snow falls down and the icecicles jumpin’.
Out in the wild Ella’s made a castle,
From solid ice, it’s a major hassle.
Hiding there because she needs no man,
Although she made a sun-loving snow man.
By now Ella’s teamed up with an ice man,
Kristoff who talks for his pal reindeer, Sven.
Race on his sled through the snow,
‘Cause the wolves will get them if they’re too slow.
They get to El’s place, she ices their face,
Did they stop? No – they’re on the case.
Anna got an ice pop on her heart,
She needs some major love or the thing just won’t start
And she’ll drop dead.
Yo – so they hoofed it all the way back to Arendelle.
The whole place was still all frozen over,
Ella needed a kiss from her lover.
Hans is the guy who’s running the town,
Says he loves Anna but he just wants the crown.
He is glad just to let her die,
If it weren’t frozen up he’d go to Hell and fry.
Anna had to leave him cold,
And find true love like a story of old.
Kristoff came running flat-out fast,
Worked up like a prince from the past.
Hans has a sword ’cause he’s still not dead,
Messing with Ella so he can cut off her head.
Anna’s on the scene, her fiancé’s mean,
She stopped his sword ’cause that’s what sister love means.
If ice was a problem, Yo, she solved it
Too bad her heart left her body froze solid.

Ice ice lady
Anna’s an ice ice lady
Body of ice ice baby
That isn’t nice nice lady
So frozen.

Chill out, I’m not a gothical poet,
Everything turns out fine just in case you didn’t know it.
Their town, that had turned into an ice tomb,
Got sunnied up and avoided its doom.
‘Cause the spell was broke by Anna’s deed,
Proving that sister love is all that you need.
You don’t need a prince, this is a hell of a concept
They found a cure without a true love’s kiss.
Kristoff turned out fine, he got a new sleigh,
Olaf gets his own cloud so he won’t melt but he looks dumb;
And Hans doesn’t die ’cause there’s nothing to fall from.
Ella’s composed and the townfolk love her,
Because they know their queen is one cool mother.
The end of the story, Yo – that does it.
I wonder if H.C.A.’d even know it.

Ice ice city
Town turned to ice ice baby
By the nice ice ice lady
You now that nice ice snowman
Chill Olaf

Yo, man, let’s skate out of here. Word to Grandma in Narnia.

Elfies

Thursday, December 5th, 2013

Elfie

Want to be on the cutting edge of Disney-guest trends? Get an elfie!

What’s an elfie? Santa knows!

Selfie + Elf = Elfie

Apparently, castmembers in the role of Santa’s elves in both Disneyland and Disney California Adventure have been inundated by requests for “elfie” pictures. This has led to a few problems because a) they are a little wary of handling guests’ cell phones, and b) many elves wear gloves, making it impossible to operate a touch screen.

For these reasons, many guests are holding the phone for the elf and, if the elf can’t take the picture, pushing the button themselves. This leads to a philosophical question — if the guest helps take the photo, is it a legitimate elfie, or must the elf both hold the camera and take the picture for it to be official? At this point, despite copious requests from the media, the Walt Disney Company has not taken a position. We at DisneyLies.com are committed to keeping you abreast of this issue, and will post updates as need be.

In the meantime, if you are able to take a successful elfie in one of Disney’s parks, please forward it to us so we can add it to our database (and, perhaps, share it with the other blog readers).

Liefacts: Frozen

Wednesday, December 4th, 2013
  • The movie is based on the Hans Christian Andersen tale “The Snow Queen.” It sticks pretty closely to the original story, aside from the characters, plot, and lack of religious overtones.
  • This is the first Disney animated feature to include three princesses as main characters — Anna, Ella (who becomes queen), and the secret surprise princess seen briefly after the credits.
  • With the release of Frozen, Disney is one step closer to having an animated feature to represent each of the countries in Epcot’s World Showcase. The Emperor’s New Groove, Mulan, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Pinocchio, Pocahontas, Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast, The Great Mouse Detective, and Brother Bear cover all but Japan, and that will be taken care of when Big Hero 6 is released next year. After that, the company will concentrate on making features themed to the various areas of Future World.
  • The film had a short production schedule, so instead of going to Norway to study the environment, animators were sealed in a commercial meat locker over a weekend.
  • A live reindeer was brought into the animation studio to help with the development of Sven’s dialogue.
  • Over the years, Disney has tried many times to bring an adaptation of “The Snow Queen” to the screen, but the movie kept being derailed during the character-design process. A breakthrough came when John Lasseter suggested that if they stopped making character maquettes out of ice, they might not keep melting away before more progress could be made.
  • The title was cut from The Snow Queen to Frozen because the film was running too long.
  • Frozen is Disney’s first computer-animated feature since last year’s Wreck-It Ralph.

“Let Fireworks Go”

Sunday, December 1st, 2013

Disney’s Frozen — the first Disney animated feature to double-down on the princess concept — opened over the Thanksgiving weekend. In just five days, the film grossed more than $93 million, which, according to experts who have degrees and everything, is more than any other Disney animated film grossed this weekend.

Disney is particularly pleased with these numbers because of Frozen’s relatively low cost. “Frozen had a relatively low cost,” said an official-looking person in a blazer, “in part because one of the main secondary characters doesn’t talk (so we didn’t have to hire a voice actor), and in part because ice is so cheap to animate. You don’t have to hire many colorists in a film that’s all white.”

Disney also saved money on the soundtrack. According to the same disreputable source, “We were able to save a ton of money on song writing by just re-using existing music. For example, the main song in the film, “Let It Go,” is just Katy Perry’s “Firework” with some word changes. And before you ask, it’s not stealing — it’s recycling.”

If you’re a music historian, Disney music fan, or compulsive audiophiliac, here’s a sample for comparison: