Where they’re going

So what are Billy Hill and the Hillbillies going to do after they leave Disneyland next year? According to experts such as the internet, there are many strong possibilities:

  1. A reality TV series that shows the country perspective on cooking and tattooing things hoarder brides leave in storage lockers (or something).
  2. They make a fortune selling their autographs for $20 a pop at Disneyana conventions, endorsing tractors, and licensing their distinctive likenesses.
  3. They make another fortune with online ads promising to teach people to fiddle in a week using “one weird old trick” (namely, novelty teeth).
  4. Four new employees show up at Knotts Berry Farm to “jazz up the stunt show.”
  5. They go into semi-retirement before reuniting for the opening of Disneyland Appalachia.
  6. This summer on pay per view, their knock-down, drag-out, no-holds-barred cage match with the original Dapper Dans.


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