The brilliant folks at Communicore Weekly have posted a new show in which they take a hard, critical look at our new book, 396 Pure, Unadulterated, Dyed-in-the-Wool, 100% Made-up, Completely Fake Disneyland “Facts”
Then go buy our book. Because we need the money to go to Disneyland. And they need our support. Probably.
On March 3, the Broadway run of Mary Poppins will end after a practically perfect six-year run. All is not lost for fans of Disney theatrics, though: Disney has announced that one of its theme-park musicals will be extended, upgraded, and graduated to the Broadway stage.
Said musical expert Jasmine Abu in a telephone interview we forgot to record: “Disney has high hopes that audiences will be thrilled by their full-cast, high-energy production of Carousel of Progress. It’s expected to play to packed houses, particularly if rumors are true that Jim Parsons will be playing Father.”
According to what we’re going to say was an official Disney press release, the show will feature the original Sherman Brothers song, with additional music by Broadway legends Rodgers and Hammerstein. Show-stopping numbers include “If I Plugged You,” “Fuses Are Bustin’ Out All Over,” “Whats the Use of Wirin’,” and “You’ll Never Watch (Televised Wrestling) Alone.”
During 2013, Disneyland and Walt Disney World will be holding a number of “Limited Time Magic” events to delight guests. Each of these events will be available for a short period on days when the parks are closing early (hence the “Limited Time” moniker).
The first of these events at Disneyland is the return of the original Golden Horseshoe Revue show to the Golden Horseshoe Saloon for four weeks beginning January 10. The show will use the original script, just as it was premiered in 1955, but as the original performers are not currently available, all parts will be performed by Billy Hill and the Hillbillies. This is made possible by the fact that no more than four characters are ever on stage at the time, and allows for lower production costs as fiddle-playing dancing girls make the hiring of a band unnecessary. Said lead Hillbilly Billy, “I have these hilarious fake buckteeth that will add a memorable new dimension to my portrayal of Slue Foot Sue, and you ain’t lived until you’ve heard my dulcet rendition of ‘Billy Up to the Bar’ and seen what we’re calling our Can’t Can’t Dancers.”
The show is expected to be intensely popular with lines anticipated to stretch well into the Rivers of America. To help alleviate this, one show each day is going to be a $35 dinner show with guaranteed seating. These shows are available only to annual passholders who can prove that they saw the show during its original run. The dinner will be a fixed menu of food reminiscent of the original Frontierland, including corn chips from Casa de Fritos, Davy Crockett “raccoon” burgers, Pepsi, and toothpicks made from wood from the original Fort Wilderness. All guests will receive a souvenir boot-shaped mug filled with replicas of Wally Boag’s teeth, suitable for spitting.
As a special treat during the dinner shows, the part of Pecos Bill will be played by actor and comedian Steve Martin, a close personal friend of the original Pecos. The participation of Mr. Martin in this event is being kept strictly secret, for fear that it will cause a massive rush for tickets. Because of this, it has not been reported to the media, can’t be verified, won’t be announced, isn’t something we’re going to admit having reported, and you didn’t read it here.
Update: Fifteen minutes after this post went live, the Golden Horseshoe dinner shows sold out completely.
