Drunk and out at the Magic Kingdom

Today, Walt Disney World management announced that the Be Our Guest restaurant in the Magic Kingdom’s new Fantasyland would serve wine and beer at dinner. Although serving alcohol in the Magic Kingdom was explicitly against Walt Disney’s wishes, management thinks that this is the best decision from a customer-service perspective.

Said someone with a Hotmail e-mail account that looked official, “We know that this will not be a popular decision in the eyes of some Disney fans, but copious research conducted over the years has shown conclusively that the vast majority of vacationing adults accompanied by young children handle crowded Fantasyland attractions better when mildly drunk.”

There has been no confirmation of the rumor that the restaurant will also be selling chewing gum in the lobby.

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