On the left is a photo of the Matterhorn from two years ago. On the right, a photo of the Matterhorn taken over this past weekend. The difference is striking, isn’t it? The snow levels on the Matterhorn have never been this low.
“It’s global warming,” says fictional Disneyland spokescastmember April Frost. “You can see the effects all over the park. Water levels are down, rain levels are down, and over Christmas what little snow we got on Main Street was so anemic it clumped together like soap suds. Why, did you know that in Florida’s Magic Kingdom a few years ago the submarine attraction evaporated all together? We’re doing our best to avoid a similar tragedy in California, and it makes us feel mighty guilty for using pure, black, unfiltered coal to run the Disneyland Railroad, Mark Twain, and Autopia for so many years.”