Fantasy Faire coming to Disneyland!

It was recently announced that Disneyland’s Carnation Plaza Garden is going to be not just removed, but — in a special, hard-ticket event — utterly and explosively obliterated to the hip stylings of a live swing band. Once the debris is cleared and collateral damage dealt with, the suddenly open space will be used to create Fantasy Faire, a new area of Fantasyland.

Fantasy Faire will include many unique, fantastical character-oriented attractions, including a princess meet-and-greet, a stage on which princess-related productions can be performed, a stand where child-friendly, quasi-medieval, fast food can be purchased, and a shop selling princess-related clothing and souvenirs. When asked how the new Fantasy Faire will differ from the current Disney Princess Fantasy Faire, a woman with too much makeup and fake hair who claimed to be the personal assistant of George Kalogridis, President of Disneyland Resort, said, “It’s a lot more south. You’ll be able to enjoy the princesses without the long walk, anachronistic railroad intrusions, and occasional mood-ruining whiffs of Toontown stench.”

Not everyone is pleased with the planned expansion. “It’s a load of Dumbo leavings!” said Herbert Haberdasher, President and Tenor of the Main Street, U.S.A. Merchant’s Association. “They’re whittling away at Main Street piece by piece. You let this go, and they won’t be happy until the Emporium is renamed the Enchantium and ‘Princessland’ stretches from one train station to the other. Think it won’t happen? Look at how New Orleans Square annexed a huge hunk of Frontierland! Think nobody was hurt by that? Next time you see her, ask Aunt Jemima how she feels!”‘

No thanks, Herbert — we’ll take your word for it!

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