Reserve your final resting place now!

With the economy all mucked up and DCA construction a bit over budget, Disneyland management is always on the lookout for ways to make a little extra money. This, combined with the recent increase in guests attempting to scatter the ashes of their loved ones within the Haunted Mansion and other attractions, inspired Disney to offer Disneyland megafans an option for spending all eternity in the Happiest Place on Earth!

Approximately a quarter of an acre of woodland — part of it behind the Hungry Bear restaurant and the rest in the “forbidden” area beyond the hollow fort on Tom Sawyer Island — has been earmarked for guests wishing to purchase a permanent annual pass. Grave markers will be simple grey stone with the former guest’s real name (no nicknames or Internet handles), dates of first Disneyland visit and death, and a short memorial message (which must either meet strict guidelines for taste and decency or be from a Disney film). For an additional fee, the marker may be “plussed” with an engraving of a favorite Disney character from a limited selection (e.g., Mickey, yes; Chernabog, no).

There will be a tastefully landscaped picnic area set aside for mourners, and picnic-style lunches will be available for those who want to spend a little quiet time eating and reflecting (no outside food, flash photography, video recording, unaccompanied very small children, or collecting of gravestone rubbings allowed). This area will have a FASTPASS dispenser available (for use during Halloweentime and on Bats Day in the Fun Park only).

Due to the assumed popularity of this new offering, guests wishing to be interred must either be cremated or (for an additional fee) entombed in a traditional coffin that has been modified to allow for “standing position” burial, stacked up to five guests deep. The plots will also be sold on a timeshare basis, so those wishing to pay their respects will need to check the online database to make sure their loved one will be there on the day of their visit.

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