The Penny Arcade’s “Fakemeralda” machine is an electronic embarrassment — an attempt to update the original Esmeralda with electronics and disco lights. The effect is cold, artificial, and lifeless; the fortunes inexact and woodenly constructed.
As an experiment, we obtained fortunes from both Esmeralda and Fakemeralda. They can be summarized as follows:
Esmeralda: You are a special individual with hopes and dreams that you keep to yourself but dearly wish to see fulfilled. You have the capacity for great love even though you don’t always show it, and enrich the lives of those who place their trust in you. Today, you will experience clouds in the morning, leading to sunshine in the evening. There is $117.43 in your pocket. Your lucky lottery numbers are 14 12 62 41 6 28.
Fakemeralda: I am Eliza. How do you do. Please state your problem. Your fortune? You seem to be quite positive. Is it because you are that you came to me? Wikipedia defines “you” as a female, quadrupedal, ruminant mammal typically kept as livestock. The third digit of pi is 12.
Coming up next: Penny Arcade jukebox