Archive for April, 2011

Undead Disneyland

Friday, April 29th, 2011

We know it’s still a long way to October, but we couldn’t resist passing along this interesting bit of information that we happened to overhear from someone at Disneyland in nice clothes and an official-looking hat. Apparently, this Halloween Disneyland will be going all out to try and compete with Knotts Scary Farm, Universal Halloween Horror Nights, Legoland Minimassacre, The San Diego Zoo: Poachers Unleashed, and Six Flags Magic Mountain of Noise and Unruly teens. How will they do it? With a special, after-hours, hard ticket event in which Disneyland becomes Disneyland Demised — the realm of zombies!

The festivities will begin after sundown, with Main Street filled with fog and populated by undead versions of all your favorite Disney characters. Special merchandise (half-eaten Mickey-ears hats, meat pins, etc.) and treats (such as the turkey leg/churro combination churroleg) will be available. But the biggest treat will be the attractions, almost all of which will have some kind of zombie-related overlay!

We have to admit that some of these don’t sound like much more than the original attraction with the word “zombie” plugged into them, but we’re sure the list will improve as Imagineers further develop the concept. From what we were able to overhear, the attraction lineup is as follows:

  • Disneyland Railroad through the Zombie Canyon and Unextinct World dioramas
  • Main Street Cinema of Dr. Caligari
  • Main Street Vehicle Fatalities
  • The Disneyland Story Presenting Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln, Zombie Hunter
  • Buzz Lightyear Astro-Zombie Blasters
  • Finding Nemo’s Grave Submarine Voyage
  • Thriller Tribute
  • Space-Zombie Mountain
  • Planet Terror Orbitor
  • Autopia Death Race
  • Deadoventions
  • Zombie Survival Training Academy
  • Snow White’s Zombie Adventures
  • Pinocchio’s Zombie Journey
  • Dumbo the Undead Elephant
  • Casey Jr. Circus Train of the Living Dead
  • Mr. Toad’s Zombie Ride
  • Alice in Zombieland
  • Flesh-Eating Tea Party
  • Peter Pan’s Flight from the Evil Dead
  • Sleeping Zombie Castle
  • The Former King Arthur Carrousel
  • Disney Zombie Princess Fantasy Faire
  • “it’s a zombie world”
  • Matterhorn Deadsleds
  • Storybook Land Fatal Boats
  • Big Zombie Mountain Railroad
  • Pirate Zombie’s Lair on Headless Tom Sawyer Island
  • Zombie Shooting Exposition
  • Sam Raimi Riverboat
  • Sailing Ship Corman
  • Big Boomstick Ranch
  • The Shambling Horseshoe Stage featuring Boot Hill and the Hill Booties
  • Ash’s Treehouse
  • Shawn of the Jungle Cruise
  • Indiana Jones Adventure: World War Z
  • Walt Disney’s Reanimated Tiki Room
  • Zombies of the Scaribbean
  • Haunted Mansion Resident Evil (with a special Pet Sematary tour)
  • Dawn of Splash Mountain
  • Night of the Living Adventures of Winnie the Pooh
  • Mickey’s House and Meet Mickey 28 Days Later
  • Plan 9 from Minnie’s House
  • Goofy’s Charnel House
  • Marvel Zombies’ Boat
  • Chip ‘n Dale’s Treehouse of Horror
  • Roger Rabbit’s Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became a Mixed-Up Car Toon Spin
  • Gadget’s Go Back to the Grave Coaster

And after you’re done playing, make sure to stake out a place next to the red-running Rivers of America to enjoy a special presentation of Brainstasmic!

What’s up?

Thursday, April 28th, 2011

Sorry for the sudden lack of posts. We at Chez Disneylies have found ourselves extraordinarily unproductive ever since Disney Interactive released Angry Tikibirds for the iPhone. Seriously — this thing is even more addictive than last year’s Plants vs. Tikis!

Anyhow, we’ll be back with more of the Disneyland tour on Monday, and will be sure to let you know immediately if anything big happens before then. (Particularly if it happens tomorrow. Not like that’s a hint or anything.)

Disneyland Tour: Candy Palace

Wednesday, April 20th, 2011

Disneyland Tour: Candy Palace

In terms of customers per square foot, Disneyland’s Candy Palace has been the most popular shop on Main Street since the interactive Intimate Apparel Shop closed in 1956. It often has to stay open up to two hours longer than the rest of the park just to deal with the massive press of customers who can’t even comprehend leaving the park for the day without some handmade peanut brittle, a bar of chocolate, or a giant Lollypop-Guild-style lollypop (even though the Lollypop Guild was in The Wizard of Oz which isn’t even a Disney film).

Guests standing beneath the Candy Palace’s awning may notice the subtle scent of peppermint or vanilla. This scent is piped in from gigantic tanks of compressed scent back stage and helps give the Candy Palace’s regular guests their bright aura of joyful, nostalgic addiction. People noticing this scent and wondering where it came from led to guests saying that around the Candy Palace something wonderful was “in the air” — giving birth to the popular phrase.

Coming up next: Candy Palace chef

Disneyland Tour: Penny Arcade jukebox

Tuesday, April 19th, 2011

Disneyland Tour: Penny Arcade jukebox

This original 1853 Wurlitzer jukebox sits at the back of the Penny Arcade, completely functional but little used. It is activated by the insertion of a penny and the pressing of buttons “A” and “1” to indicate which of the jukebox’s one available song should be played. The jukebox has all four of its original music rolls available for installation by cast members, for a total of eight songs if the rolls’ “b sides” (which sound quite a bit like the “a sides” with their notes reversed) are counted.

Coming up next: Candy Palace

Disneyland Tour: Fakemeralda

Monday, April 18th, 2011

Disneyland Tour: Fakemeralda

The Penny Arcade’s “Fakemeralda” machine is an electronic embarrassment — an attempt to update the original Esmeralda with electronics and disco lights. The effect is cold, artificial, and lifeless; the fortunes inexact and woodenly constructed.

As an experiment, we obtained fortunes from both Esmeralda and Fakemeralda. They can be summarized as follows:

Esmeralda: You are a special individual with hopes and dreams that you keep to yourself but dearly wish to see fulfilled. You have the capacity for great love even though you don’t always show it, and enrich the lives of those who place their trust in you. Today, you will experience clouds in the morning, leading to sunshine in the evening. There is $117.43 in your pocket. Your lucky lottery numbers are 14 12 62 41 6 28.

Fakemeralda: I am Eliza. How do you do. Please state your problem. Your fortune? You seem to be quite positive. Is it because you are that you came to me? Wikipedia defines “you” as a female, quadrupedal, ruminant mammal typically kept as livestock. The third digit of pi is 12.

Coming up next: Penny Arcade jukebox

New Disney shorts coming soon! (re-re-revised again)

Friday, April 15th, 2011

Sorry to report that we made yet another in our long series of mistakes yesterday when we re-re-revised our announcement that Disney had announced a series of all-new short cartoons. We said that the titles of the shorts would be Disney feature film titles mashed up with famous movies, and this is not the case. In fact, it’s such a silly idea that because we didn’t question it in the first place, we’re going to go drown ourselves in the bathtub as soon as we’re done with this post. (Seriously, we’ve had about all we can take of this from us.)

Instead, the title of each of these parody shorts will be a "mashup" of a classic Disney film and a famous book title. For example, "Tangled" might be combined with Ray Bradbury’s "Something Wicked This Way Comes," giving us "Something Tangled This Way Comes."

Disney hopes that fans will enjoy trying to puzzle out what the original film and play were and what the parody will be like from the "mashup" title and then tune in to see what it’s like. Our at-this-point-obviously-completely-unreliable sources deep within Disney report that titles currently in production include:

  • The 7 Swords in the Stones of Highly Effective People
  • The Absent-Minded American Psycho
  • The Adventures of Oedipus and Mr. Rex
  • Aladdin of Green Gables
  • Angels in the Leaves of Grass
  • Are you there God? It’s Me, Squanto
  • The Aristocats Always Ring Twice
  • The Autobiography of Alice B. Wonderland
  • Beowulf and the Beast
  • Blackbeard’s Great Expectations
  • Blackboard Junglebook
  • The Bolt Report
  • A Brief History of Melody Time
  • The Call of the Wild Babes in Toyland
  • The Candleshoe Manifesto
  • Captain Underpants: Fully Loaded
  • Cars-22
  • The Cat in the Hat from Outer Space
  • Chicken Little Soup for the Soul
  • The Clan of the Country Bears
  • Curious George Goes Bananas
  • Cuthulu Wore Tennis Shoes
  • The Da Vinci Cauldron
  • Darby O’Gill and the Little Women
  • Davy Crockett, King of Flatland
  • The Descent of the Monkey’s Uncle
  • Diary of a Wimpy Princess
  • The Dinosaur in the Rye
  • Dumbo Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
  • Electraphobia
  • The Emperor’s Brave New Groove
  • Escape to My Side of the Mountain
  • Fantasia 1984
  • The Feminine Mystique, or Ten Weeks With a Circus
  • The Fox and the Hound of the Baskervilles
  • Fun and Fancy Fahrenheit 451
  • Gargantua and Pantagruel Ride Again
  • The Girl with the Reluctant Dragon Tattoo
  • Go Ask Ernest
  • Gone with the Song of the South
  • Good Morning Dune
  • Gulliver, I Shrunk the Kids
  • The Happiest Exorcist
  • Harry Potter and the Living Desert
  • Herbie Goes to Slaughterhouse-Five
  • Hercules Shrugged
  • The History of the Decline and Fall of the Sorcerer’s Apprentice
  • The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Haunted Mansion
  • Homer on the Range
  • Hot War and Cold Peace
  • How to Win Friends and Influence the Apple Dumpling Gang
  • I Know Why the Little Mermaid Sings
  • The Island at the Top of the World According to Garp
  • James and the Giant Clockwork Orange
  • The Joy of Cooking Brother Bear
  • The Last of the Atlantians
  • The Late, Great Treasure Planet
  • Lolita & Stitch
  • Lord of the Bug’s Life
  • The Love Bible
  • Love in the Time of Cinderella
  • Make Mine Moby-Dick
  • Mars Needs Metamorphosis
  • Meet the Robinsons Livingston Seagull
  • Men are from Monsters, Inc., Women are from Fantasia
  • A Midsummer Nightmare Before Christmas
  • The Mighty Ravens
  • The Million Dollar Duck of Ivan Ilyich
  • A Modest Pinocchio
  • Mulan Quixote
  • The Muppet Masters
  • Native Son of Flubber
  • Of Bambi and Men
  • Oh Bedknobs! My Broomsticks!
  • The One and Only, Genuine, Original Faustian Band
  • One Hundred and One Years of Solitude
  • One Tron in the Life of Ivan Denisovich
  • Paradise Lost and Dante’s Inferno: Best of Both Worlds Concert
  • Pete’s Decameron
  • Peyton Place Chihuahua
  • The Picture of Mary Poppins
  • The Pilgrim’s Incredible Progress
  • The Pirates of Madison County
  • Pocahontas and Prejudice
  • The Princess and the Pendulum
  • Rememberance of Titans Past
  • The Rescuers Down Under the Little House on the Prairie
  • The Rescuers’ Badge of Courage
  • Return to Ozymandias
  • Rhyme of the Gnome-Mobile
  • Saludos Ulysses
  • The Second Tex
  • The Shaggy Dog Whisperer
  • Silent Spring: Legacy
  • The Sister Act of the Traveling Pants
  • Snow White and the House of the Seven Gables
  • So Dear to My Sons and Lovers
  • Something Tangled This Way Comes
  • The Strongest Man in the War of the Worlds
  • Sweet Valley High School Musical
  • A Tale of Two Caballeros
  • That Darn Oedipus!
  • Their Eyes Were Watching Sleeping Beauty
  • Think and Grow Ratatouille
  • Thus Spoke Thomasina
  • Tin Drum Story
  • To Kill a Lion King
  • A Tree Grows in Treasure Island
  • Twilight and the Tramp
  • Uncle Tom’s Tarzan
  • Unidentified Flying Brothers Karamazov
  • Up Around the World in 80 Days
  • Valley of the Toy Story 2 Dolls
  • Victory Through Hobbit Power
  • Vindication of the Rights of Zorro
  • WALL-E and the Chocolate Factory
  • The Watcher in the Woods on a Snowy Evening
  • What to Expect When You’re Enchanted
  • Where the Black Hole Grows
  • Where’s Nemo?
  • Who Framed Hamlet’s Father
  • Wuthering Herbie

Did we miss any? If you’ve heard of any additional titles in this series (or if you hear that we got one wrong), be sure to immediately let us know in the comments! And if we got it completely wrong again this time — we give up!

Disneyland Tour: Pressed pennies (and other coins)

Friday, April 15th, 2011

Disneyland Tour: Pressed pennies (and other coins)

Throughout Disneyland can be found “press a penny” machines that extrude U.S. currency into jolly Disneyland souvenirs in defiance of common sense, the laws of physics, and several Treasury Department statutes. The original Pressed Penny machines require the insertion of a penny to be mangled along with a pair of quarters to pay for the service. The penny is returned with a design of the guest’s choice imprinted on Lincoln’s monstrously elongated face.

The popularity of these novelty devices led to “press a quarter” machines (pictured here) that require the insertion of a quarter to be entertainingly devalued along with a pair of fifty-cent pieces to pay for the service. In 2001, Disneyland tested “press a Sacagawea” machines in which a dollar coin and two two-dollar bills were inserted, but these proved unpopular, as did “press a dollar” machines in which paper dollars were pressed to little visible effect.

In many places in the United States, pennies are considered good luck. Because of this, the original Disneyland devices came to be known as “press your luck” machines, giving birth to the popular phrase.

Interesting note: If you ask really nicely and/or have a hissy fit, pressed coins are acceptable as legal tender anywhere on Disneyland property.

Coming up next: Fakemeralda

New Disney shorts coming soon! (re-revised again)

Thursday, April 14th, 2011

Sorry to report that we made yet another little mistake yesterday when we re-revised our announcement that Disney had announced a series of all-new short cartoons. We said that the titles of the shorts would be Disney feature film titles mashed up with famous stage productions, and this is not the case. In fact, it’s such a silly idea that we deserve to be brought up on charges for not having questioned it in the first place.

Instead, the title of each of these parody shorts will be a "mashup" of a classic Disney film and a famous non-Disney film. For example, "Tangled" might be combined with Troma’s "The Toxic Avenger," giving us "The Tangled Avenger."

Disney hopes that fans will enjoy trying to puzzle out what the original film and play were and what the parody will be like from the "mashup" title and then tune in to see what it’s like. Our yet-again-revised sources deep within Disney report that titles currently in production include:

  • 20,000 Showgirls Under the Sea
  • Abbot and Costello meet the Cat from Outer Space
  • The Absent-Minded Professor Goes to Washington
  • Ace Ventura: Great Mouse Detective
  • The Adventures of Ichabod and Mister Tibbs
  • Aladdin of Arabia
  • Aliens, Inc.
  • Apocalypse Nemo
  • Arachnaquadrophenia
  • Beauty and the Graduate
  • Bedknobs and the Birth of a Nation
  • Beverly Hills Caddyshack
  • Blackbeard’s Ghostbusters
  • The Blacula Cauldron
  • The Blade Runner’s Apprentice
  • Bolt-Hur
  • Bowling for Candleshoe
  • Brother Jazz Singer
  • Charlie’s Angels in the Outfield
  • Citizen Clause
  • Clerks on the Range
  • The Country Bears Chainsaw Massacre
  • Darby O’Gill or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Little People
  • Davy Crockett, King of the Crying Game
  • Dawn of the Enchanted
  • Dead Pocahontas’ Society
  • Deliverance in Wonderland
  • Dial M for Mulan
  • Dr. Up
  • The Emperor’s New Social Network
  • Ernest Goes Psycho
  • Escape from Fantasia
  • The Evil Dead Wore Tennis Shoes
  • Fantasia 2000: A Space Odyssey
  • Fast Times at Ridgemont High School Musical
  • Faster, Aristocats! Kill! Kill!
  • Forrest Gump: A Warrior’s Tale
  • Freaky Friday the 13th
  • Fun and Fancy Fight Club
  • G-Force from Navarone
  • Good Morning Fargo
  • The Good, The Bad, and the Monkey’s Uncle
  • The Great Escape to Witch Mountain
  • The Happiest Slumdog Millionaire
  • Haunted Mansion Home Alone
  • Herbie Goes Commando
  • Herbie Rides Back to the Future
  • Honey, I Shrunk the Matrix
  • Hot Lead and Die Hard
  • The Incredible Shrinking Journey
  • The Island at the Top of Brazil
  • It’s a Wonderful Bug’s Life
  • The Jungle Book Fever
  • Lilo & Thelma & Louise
  • The Lion Sting
  • The Little Mermaid Poseidon Adventure
  • Living Desert of the Spotless Mind
  • The Logan Dumpling Gang Runs Again
  • Lost Weekend: Fully Loaded
  • Mad Max Goes Bananas
  • Make Mine Spinal Tap
  • The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh Across the 8th Dimension
  • Mars Needs Napoleon Dynamite
  • Meet the Robinsons Who Knew Too Much
  • Melody Time Bandits
  • The Mighty Jaws
  • The Million Dollar Duck Soup
  • Monty Python and the Giant Peach
  • National Lampoon’s Shaggy Dog House
  • The National Treasure of the Sierra Madre
  • Night of the Living Dumbo
  • Nightmare on Elm Street Before Christmas
  • Old Yeller: Dead and Loving It
  • The Omen-Mobile
  • The One and Only, Genuine, Original Plan 9 from Outer Space
  • One Hundred and One Reservoir Dogs
  • One of Our Third Men is Missing
  • Operation Rocky Drop
  • The Passion of the Apple Dumpling Gang
  • Peter Pan’s Big Adventure
  • Pete’s Maltese Dragon
  • Predator vs. Hercules
  • Pride of the Incredibles
  • The Princess and the Breakfast Club
  • The Princess Bride Diaries
  • Raiders of the Lost Atlantis
  • The Ratatouille Horror Picture Show
  • Rebel Without a Cars
  • The Reluctant Godfather
  • Remember the Clash of the Titans
  • Return from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
  • The Road Warrior Down Under
  • Robin N da Hood
  • Robocop & Company
  • Rosemary’s Bambi
  • Saturday Night Flubber
  • Saving Private Pinocchio
  • The Saw in the Stone
  • Scream Story / Scream Story 2 / Scream Story 3
  • Se7en of the South
  • The Shaggy Dog Day Afternoon
  • The Sign of El Mariachi
  • Silence of the Poppins
  • Singin’ in the Black Hole
  • Sleepless Beauty in Seattle
  • Snow White and the Seven Samurai
  • Some Like It Hunchback
  • Star Wars and Star Trek: Best of Both Worlds Concert
  • Strangers on a Dinosaur
  • The Strongest Manchurian Candidate in the World
  • Swiss Family Rollerball
  • The Tangled Avenger
  • Tarzan and Maude
  • Taxi Driver Rides Again
  • Terminator of the Caribbean
  • That Darn Deer Hunter!
  • Three Days of the Condorman
  • Throw Cinderella from the Train
  • Titanic: Legacy
  • Toby or Not Toby Tyler
  • Tootsie and the Tramp
  • Treasure Planet of the Apes
  • The Tron Commandments
  • Twelve Angry Caballeros
  • Unidentified Flying Airplane!
  • Victory Through Avatar Power
  • WALL-E.T.
  • The Watchmen in the Woods
  • What Ever Happened to Babes in Toyland?
  • Who Framed JFK
  • The World’s Greatest Chinatown

Did we miss any? If you’ve heard of any additional titles in this series (or if you hear that we got one wrong), be sure to immediately let us know in the comments!

Disneyland Tour: Mutoscopes

Thursday, April 14th, 2011

Disneyland Tour: Mutoscopes

Despite their cool-sounding name, mutoscopes don’t actually mutate anything, much to the disappointment of Calvin, Hobbes, and related small children. In fact, the only thing at Disneyland capable of causing mutations were the old x-ray machines you could put your head in to see how well your Mickey Mouse hat fit, and Tomorrowland’s iconic “glow churros,” both of which have been discontinued.

When activated by the insertion of a penny and the turn of a crank, mutoscopes flip through a series of photographs giving the illusion of a moving picture, much like big, iron, black-and-white flip books, but with a much higher construction cost and less resistance to rust. Disneyland’s mutoscopes feature films by Charlie Chaplin, Harold Lloyd, Hopalong Cassidy, Ronald Regan, and other silent-era stars that mean as much to today’s youth as 78s, dime novels, and, well, mutoscopes.

In Disneyland’s early days, some guests complained that they spent a penny only to see a “lame little film” when they turned the crank. This is where the phrase “a turn for the worse” came from.

Coming up next: Pressed pennies (and other coins)

New Disney shorts coming soon! (revised again)

Wednesday, April 13th, 2011

Sorry to report that we made another little mistake yesterday when we revised our announcement that Disney had announced a series of all-new short cartoons. We said that the titles of the shorts would be Disney feature film titles with one letter changed, and this is not the case. In fact, it’s such a silly idea that we deserve to be slapped silly for not having questioned it in the first place.

Instead, the title of each of these parody shorts will be a "mashup" of a classic Disney film and a famous musical, play, or other stage production. For example, "Tangled" might be combined with Shakespeare’s "All’s Well That Ends Well," giving us "All’s Well that Ends Tangled."

Disney hopes that fans will enjoy trying to puzzle out what the original film and play were and what the parody will be like from the "mashup" title and then tune in to see what it’s like. Our again revised sources deep within Disney report that titles currently in production include:

  • The Absent-Minded Demon Barber of Fleet Street
  • Alice Get Your Gun
  • All’s Well that Ends Tangled
  • Annie Poppins
  • Aristo-Cats
  • Arsenic and Old Yeller
  • Atlantis!
  • Beauty and the Chorus Line
  • Bedknobs and Magic Flutes
  • The Best Little Hunchback in Texas
  • Bring in ‘da Monsters, Bring in ‘da Inc.
  • The Brother Bear of Seville
  • Bye Bye Bambi
  • Cabaret on the Range
  • The Cat from Avenue Q
  • Cirque du Saludos Amigos
  • Death of a Condorman
  • Ernest Goes to Swan Lake
  • Flubber on the Roof
  • For Colored Girls Who Have Considered High School When the Musical is Enuf
  • A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Black Hole
  • Guys and Cars
  • Gypsy-Force
  • H.M.S. Pocahontas
  • Hairspray: Fully Loaded
  • Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus: Characters in Search of an Author
  • Haunted Mansion of the August Moon
  • Hello, WALL-E!
  • Herbie and the Angry Inch
  • Honey, I’m Waiting for Godot
  • Hot Lead and Cold Grease
  • How to Succeed in the One and Only, Genuine, Original Family Band Without Really Trying
  • The Importance of Being Enchanted
  • Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Squanto
  • Kiss Me, Bolt
  • The Last of the Red Hot Little Mermaids
  • Les Incroyables
  • Lilo & Bess
  • The Lion King and I
  • Love Bug aux Falles
  • M. Bug’s Life
  • Make Mine the Music Man
  • The Many Adventures of Wagner’s Ring
  • The Marriage of Dumbo
  • Mars Needs Mama Mia!
  • Mikado O’Gill and the Little People
  • The Miracle Worker’s Apprentice
  • My Fair Lady and the Tramp
  • No Deposit, No Glass Menagerie
  • The Nutcracker Before Christmas
  • Oedipus Tex
  • Oh, Cinderella!
  • Oliver & Company Are Dead
  • Operation Elephant Man Drop
  • Our Town Chihuahua
  • Peter Pan Superstar
  • The Pinocchio of Second Avenue
  • Pirates of Penzance of the Caribbean
  • Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Flying Dutchman
  • The Princess Deathtrap
  • The Producers Wore Tennis Shoes
  • Rent in Toyland
  • Rigoletto Down Under
  • The Rocketteers
  • Same Tron Next Year
  • Seven Brides for Seven Dwarves
  • Stop the Country Bears — I Want to Get Off
  • A Streetcar Named Dinosaur
  • Sunday in the Park with George of the Jungle
  • That Darn Cat on a Hot Tin Roof!
  • West Side Toy Story
  • Who’s Afraid of the Mighty Ducks?

Did we miss any? If you’ve heard of any additional titles in this series (or if you hear that we got one wrong), be sure to immediately let us know in the comments!