Disneyland on Yet Another Continent!

On the 55th anniversary of Disneyland, the Walt Disney Company celebrated by announcing that in 2015 they will be opening a new park, Disneyland Australia, in Australia.

Although complete details are not being released until they are finalized, the thing that we took to be a press release did say that the park will not be a clone of Disneyland, but “an experience that could only be had in Australia.” To drive this point home, it was announced that Disneyland Australia would have the following features:

  • Much more prominent presentation of Kanga and Roo.
  • A patriotic show about the history of Australia, including an animatronic Great Moments with Sir Edmund Barton show.
  • Security cast members will be armed with boomerangs.
  • Christmas parades and other activities will take place during the summer.
  • The Koala Bear Jamboree.
  • Instead of turkey legs and churros, snack carts will sell ostrich legs and really big churros.
  • The Rivers of America will retain its name, but will flow counterclockwise instead of clockwise.
  • Like the Disneyland original, Australia’s Alice in Wonderland will have an upside-down room, except that it will be rightside-up.
  • The Outback Tour will be much like the Jungle Cruise but will feature less water, bigger insects, a sacred emu bathing pool, a Tasmanian devil attack, and a rare view of “the back side of dingoes.”
  • The Pirates of the Caribbean attraction will end with the pirates being arrested by the British and shipped overseas.
  • At the snack bar outside the Enchanted Mimih Room, you’ll be able to purchase a delicious vegemite whip.
  • To better fit in Tomorrowland, the Autopia will be themed to a future where gasoline is rare, automobiles are covered in spikes, and Mel Gibson is considered sane.
  • Turtle Talk will be the same, but Australians will notice that Crush has no accent.
  • Beer will be available at all restaurants, even with kids’ meals.

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