Archive for June, 2010

Pixar sets a new record!

Sunday, June 20th, 2010

This weekend, Pixar set an amazing record by selling some $109 million in tickets to their new short film, Night & Day. Never before in the history of cinema has a film of less than 6 minutes in length earned this kind of money. Said a person standing near Pixar’s home office, “Kaching!”

Sadly, Pixar’s new feature-length film Toy Story 3 didn’t do nearly as well, earning less than $75 in theaters where it did not run with Night & Day. It is hoped that their next feature starring Woodie and friends — a short film that will accompany Cars 2 — will help restore the value of the beloved brand.

Prince of Persia, Pttttth!

Tuesday, June 1st, 2010

Despite the best efforts of Disney marketing, Prince of Persia opened to disappointing results over the holiday weekend. Production on a sequel — in which the prince attempts to bring modern nuclear power to the people of Persia, despite interference from a “great Satan” from across the sea — has been suspended.

No more “‘s Park”

Tuesday, June 1st, 2010

Disney has announced that, effective immediately, Disney’s California Adventure Park is to be known as Disney California Adventure, bringing its name more in line with Disneyland (formerly Disney’s Land), The Disneyland Resort (formerly Disneyland), and the Disneyland Hotel (formerly Disneyland’s Hotel, then Disneyland Hotel Under New Management). This announcement not only caught many Disney fans off guard, but it also inspired anger in many who felt betrayed after so many years attempting to endear themselves to the park.

It’s not the removal of the “’s” that has most fans up in arms, however, but the deletion of “Park” from the official name. Said one prominent Disney fan via Twitter from his mom’s basement, “That was one of the few ‘in’ jokes that Imagineers were able to sneak past Eisner and his cronies when California Adventure was in its infancy. I mean, it was a ‘park’ built on what used to be a parking lot, right? It was awesome!”

The name change was more than just a flight of fancy by park executives. Rather, it was the result of years of product testing, and will result in changes in signage and paper goods throughout the resort. In fact, the name change is expected to exhaust the bulk of the $1 billion Disney set aside to revamp the park. “That’s why we’ve had to cut corners here and there in the refurb,” said imaginary Imagineer Irene Iranirun. “If you think about it, you’ll see that we’re cutting corners everywhere. We’ve replaced a swing ride with a swing ride. We’re replacing a lake with a slightly more advanced lake. We’re replacing a parking lot with a tribute to cars. None of these are big stretches that require a lot of money, because the money’s all going to naming consultants and reprinting park maps.”

How will the name change impact you, the park guest? In three ways:

  1. Disney California Adventure will now be referred to as “DCA,” instead of the former, more fun to say, DsCAP.
  2. If you have any unused tickets to the old park, they’re now void. Unused park hoppers can only be used in Disneyland. Annual passes will have to be upgraded to allow entrance into the new park.
  3. You can immediately start making fun of less knowledgeable people who still use the old name.
  4. Lines for Toy Story’s Midway Mania ride will be drastically reduced. (However, lines for the Toy Story Midway Mania attraction are expected to double over the summer months.)