Mickey speaks!

Disney fans are all atwitter over YouTube videos taken at Disneyland yesterday showing Mickey Mouse not just shaking hands and signing autographs, but actually speaking to guests. “The technology is incredible,” said one guest, communicating solely through facial expressions. “Mickey’s mouth and eyes were moving, just as if he were a real gigantic anthropomorphic mouse and not just a poor, underpaid cast member sweating in a ginormous mouse helmet. He even addressed my son by name. My husband doesn’t even do that!”

To get the inside scoop on this new development, we contacted Bonita Chequita, a Disneyland representative chosen at random from the Anaheim phone directory. Said Chequita, “We’ve had a lot of positive feedback about the new animated Mickey character head, but I’m sorry to say it has less to do with improved technology and more to do with some kind of spirit possession. That’s how it knows kids names, tells fortunes, and causes unbelievers and Shrek fans to claw at their eyes in agonizing pain. We’re not sure if it’s a ghost or a demonic influence or what. All we know is that weird stuff has been happening ever since one of the maintenance workers dredged up what looked like an old Tiki Room artifact from the mud at the bottom of the Rivers of America. A duck tried to stop a monorail, DCA attendance is up — all sorts of weird, inexplicable things are happening. We’ve contacted tiki-curse expert Mike Lookinland to see what can be done. But until then, enjoy the show, everybody!”

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