DisneyLies Official Best & Worst: Disneyland’s Frontierland

Best

  • Pirate’s Lair on Tom Sawyer Island: Listen for tourists calling it “Tom Sawyer’s Island” and make fun of them. Then find some smug annual passholders and try to convince them it’s properly called “Pirate Lair”.
  • Big Thunder Ranch: Because it’s the only place in Disneyland named for a salad dressing.
  • Sailing Ship Columbia: Go below decks and make yourself a snack in the working galley!

Worst

  • Billy Hill and the Hillbillies: Sure they play music well, but we’re very, very skeptical about them all being named William.
  • The wooden Indian: He looks suspiciously identical to the one on Main Street. Don’t trust him.
  • Hoofprints: Some moron let a horse walk all over the cement before it was completely dry. Talk about inattention to detail!
  • Frontier Land Shootin’ Exposition: “Our guns shoot straight” my eye. And they’ve got that tube attached, so you can’t take them off and terrorize your little brother.

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