DisneyLies Official Best & Worst: Disneyland


  • Entrance: Enter through the left-hand tunnel and snicker about the ignorant buffoons who chose the right-hand tunnel.
  • Snow: At Christmas time, if you stand in just the right place, you can watch the snow fall and get a shampoo at the same time.
  • Churros: They’re a food group all by themselves.
  • Walk in Walt’s Footsteps Tour: It’s so cool to be able to borrow a pair of Walt Disney’s shoes, even just for a few hours.
  • Cast members: By far the greatest bunch of people who have ever managed to keep a smile on their face while you tell them what some kid just threw up on.


  • Parking: It used to have its own parking lot and you could walk right up to the entrance. Now, if you try and park near the entrance, people freak out and call SWAT.
  • Mickey’s Toontown: There are rumors that those aren’t real mountains.
  • Disneyland Railroad dinosaur diorama: Why the scientifically inaccurate animatronic dinosaurs instead of some of those neat cloned ones from Jurassic Park?
  • Identity theft: The people just inside the entrance who want to scan your ticket and ask for your Zip code are fine, but the ones who want to scan your driver’s license and get you to help their rich uncle get his wealth out of Nigeria make us twitchy.
  • Walt’s apartment: It’s almost as if it’s there just to taunt Disneyland fans who want to say they’ve been everywhere in the park, but know you can’t get to it without the ability to climb a brass poll while carrying a power saw.

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