DisneyLies Official Best & Worst: Disneyland Resort

Inspired by the MouseStation Podcast (which, we swear, we’re going to start listening to as soon as we can figure out how this whole “Internet” thing works), DisneyLies will be — over the next few weeks — listing its official “Best & Worst” of all things Disney. We welcome comments and suggestions, but know deep in our hearts that our choices are absolutely, positively, objectively correct.

DisneyLies Official Best & Worst: Disneyland Resort


  • Arriving at the resort: Special, exclusive Disneyland Drive exit from the 5 freeway carpool lane and bridge over Ball Road allow you to thumb your nose at folks stuck in traffic or stopped at stoplights while you arrive for your day of fun.
  • Disney’s California Adventure: By far the best California-themed amusement park in southern California.
  • Disneyland: Not enjoying Disneyland is listed in the DSM-IV as a mental disorder (severe).
  • Disneyland Hotel Childcare Club: If you “forget” to pick up your kid, they only charge you a small inconvenience fee (plus postage).
  • Downtown Disney performers: We like the guy who makes balloon animals while breathing fire.


  • Paradise Pier Hotel Finding Nemo Pool: The shark robot and “exploding” mines scare the heck out of little kids, and the lifeguards’ jokes to parents about missing children are as funny as a crutch.
  • The House of Blues: Despite what the advertising would have you believe, there’s actually almost nothing blue here.
  • Downtown Disney Underground: This subterranean venue for nightclubs and restaurants is dead, even on Friday and Saturday nights. It’s like people don’t even know it’s there.

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