Archive for May, 2008

Disney Animation 2010 Toy Story 3 3D

Saturday, May 3rd, 2008

Although by the title you might think that you are mistaken for thinking that this is Toy Story 3in 3D, it actually is. This is Pixar’s second Toy Story sequel, and the end of the first Toy Story Trilogy.

In this installment, Buzz has come to accept the fact that Emperor Zurg is his father but seeks a retreat to commune with the little green aliens so that he can focus his mind and resist the Zurg’s temptations as he tries to get Buzz to join Dark Starcommand.

Meanwhile, Woody and the rest of the gang have ventured into the neighbor’s yard where they plan to blow up a satellite dish because they mistakenly believe that it emits signals that protect Zurg’s unfinished Nurf space station from attack. But it’s a trap! Only with the help of a group of wild, weed-dwelling Care Bears can our heroes escape.

After this film, Pixar plans to take a lengthy break from making Toy Story sequels, after which they will complete the trilogy of TS prequels in which we see each toy’s incredible assembly-line origin and learn that Sid (from Toy Story 1) is really only one boy out of an army of toy-abusing child clones.

Disney Animation 2010: Toy Story 2 3D

Friday, May 2nd, 2008

Although by the title you might think that this is Toy Story 23, it isn’t. Instead, it’s Pixar’s original Toy Story sequel with a special pair of glasses and greater storytelling depth. The story has been thoroughly revised to take advantage of the new visual technology. This time around, Woodie discovers that he was once the star of Wood’s Roundup 3D, a three-dimensional television show in which buildings and plants painted on wooden flats seem to jump out of the screen. This film will be notable for adding three new three-dimensional characters to the Toy Story pantheon: Jessie (a yodeling cowgirl), Bullseye (a horse named after a steak sauce), and the Prospector (sort of a fat, bearded combination of Santa Claus and Hitler).

The rerelease of this film in 3D is scheduled for February 12, 2010, to coincide with Abraham Lincoln’s Birthday 3D.

Medical innoventions

Friday, May 2nd, 2008

A new “What’s in Your Head” exhibit in Disneyland’s Innoventions performs real-time full-skull scans of guests. The scans are displayed on a screen, along with tentative diagnosis from a fully automated computerized medical expert system. It is hoped that, in the future, everyone’s medical needs will be met by hyper-accurate unattended medical examination devices at Disney theme parks.

Innoventions real-time brain scan

(Much thanks to our Official DisneyLies Photo Correspondent for this photo of her own scan!)

Clinton weighs in on “it’s a small world”

Thursday, May 1st, 2008

A reader sent us the following, obviously completely authentic, information:

I am a writer for the Unassociated Press, and on behalf of our staff am sending you this new press release on a developing story coming out of the Clinton campaign regarding the proposed It’s A Small World additions that I would like for you to post on your site to share with your readers.


Clinton responds to preposterous It’s A Small World character additions, makes explosive Eisner-Obama claims

By Allen Lootz

INDIANAPOLIS, Ind. (UP) — In response to the overwhelming amount of negative responses towards the proposed It’s A Small World character additions, Hillary Clinton has decided to make this one of the most important issues to her in her ongoing 2008 presidential campaign.

“I think the proposed additions to the classic It’s A Small World attraction are ridiculous, and it will be one of my top priorities as president to stop evil corporations from ruining classic Disney attractions,” said Clinton in an official statement released Thursday evening. “Senator Obama does not care about this issue, and instead is making ludicrous focuses on miniscule things such as the economy and the war in Iraq.”

Some political analysts are theorizing that Clinton is against these additions simply because in the proposed Bosnia scene rumored to be replacing the rainforest scene, Hillary Clinton will be seen as an It’s A Small World doll under attack by sniper fire alongside happy Bosnian children singing the popular “It’s A Small World” tune in their native tongue. Other campaign insiders are reporting that this is a last resort for Clinton to win the pivotal upcoming primaries in Indiana and North Carolina, states with families known to visit Disney Parks in record numbers, and in the long run, win two big states home to Disney Parks — California and Florida.

Clinton is also making controversial claims that Barack Obama has secret ties with Micheal Eisner and the people at Walt Disney Imagineering, and is responsible for the proposed It’s A Small World additions. “Senator Obama lived 5 houses away from an imagineer responsible for these preposterous additions, and the satanic Michael Eisner has been known to have close ties with Obama’s distant cousin Brad Pitt, leading me and my campaign to believe that he is responsible” said Clinton in an Indianapolis press conference. “Although it hasn’t been proven, I’m sure Senator Obama’s pastor Reverend Jeremiah Wright has also praised additions of Disney characters to It’s A Small World in one of his sermons,” she added.

ABC News has caught on to these claims by Clinton, urging the two democratic hopefuls to debate in a WWE-style wrestling match live in an ABC News prime time special. “We don’t care about the ‘issues’,” said ABC News’ Chief Washington Correspondent, George Stephanopoulos. “We just want to see what the people want, a civilized debate which ABC News has been previously known for — just with wrestling competitions between the candidates during the commercial breaks.” Viewers not in the studio audience to watch the wrestling candidates can later log on to ABC to view a special high definition video feed, which will also be available for purchase on iTunes.

An Obama spokesperson could not be reached for comment.

©2008 The Unassociated Press. All rights reserved.

This press release, released to the press for the first time through this blog, raises a number of important questions. For example, how is Michael Eisner involved with this decision so long after his tar-and-feather-filled exit from Disney? Why is ABC giving significant air time to criticism of its parent company? And why doesn’t the Unassociated Press — a prestigious institution that brought us such important news items as “Bill Clinton Dismayed as Electrical Parade Ends” and “Perot Defends Mr. Lincoln” — insist on incorrectly punctuating “it’s a small world”?

These are mysteries that we leave to you, our intelligent and discerning readers, to puzzle through.

Disney Animation 2009: Tinker Bell — Much Ado About Neverland

Thursday, May 1st, 2008

This 2009 direct-to-video release finds Tinker Bell causing mischief for her friends from Peter Pan. It seems that one of the Lost Boys has “kind of a thing” for Wendy, and when Peter Pan promises to tell Wendy about it and save his friend embarrassment, Tink tells the lost boy that Peter is really trying to date Wendy himself. Everything get worked out in the end, and Wendy and the lost boy decide to get married.

Board of waiting for Wendy’s wedding, Tink hatches a plot to make Captain Hook and Tiger Lily each think that the other is in love with them. But because both are too proud to fall in love with each other, Tink relieves her boredom by helping a couple of malcontents ruin Wendy’s wedding. Further hilarity ensues.