Archive for May, 2008

« Older Entries

Reprieve for Virtual Magic Kingdom!

Friday, May 23rd, 2008

Yesterday’s closure of Disney’s Virtual Magic Kingdom caused such an uproar that Disney management has decided to rethink the entire situation. At this point, VMK will be closed for a month of “retooling,” after which it will be reopened — as the latest Disney Vacation Club property!

Guests who wish to purchase Virtual Magic Kingdom virtual property will receive a number of “points,” which may be exchanged for time visiting with friends and interacting with the VMK environment. Alternately, points may be used at more than 100 other online destinations, such as Club Penguin, World of Warcraft, and a variety of off-shore casinos.

Ownership will cost as little as $15,000/year for a family of four, and will be available anywhere Disney can fit a sales cart.

Tags: ,
Posted in Other | 2 Comments »

Real Magic Closure

Thursday, May 22nd, 2008

There was a major goofup last night involving the closing of Disney’s Virtual Magic Kingdom online guest simulation. Apparently, the memo saying that the online park would be going offline permanently last night at 10 p.m. was worded in a less than rigorous manner, causing some cast members to believe that it was Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom that was to be closed permanently.

Signs were placed outside the Magic Kingdom after closing explaining that the park was being shuttered, and ever-efficient Disney maintenance crews spent the night dismantling the park and preparing it for storage. By the time the mistake was discovered (at around 6:30 a.m. this morning), Adventureland, Liberty Square, and about half of Frontierland had been boxed, labeled, and prepared for shipping. Tom Sawyer Island had already been returned to its natural swampy condition, and the Country Bears were running wild in the absence of county animal-control officers.

“We were pretty embarrassed about the whole situation,” said Magic Kingdom spokesperson Beaufort “Clueless” Hamhead. “We think we can get the whole thing back together in a couple of weeks, and we’re already sending nice notes of apology to all the people we sacked, especially the ones we inadvertently put in crates instead of sending home.”

Tags:
Posted in Magic Kingdom, WDW | Comments Off on Real Magic Closure

Another Pirates ghost!

Wednesday, May 21st, 2008

Our Official DisneyLies Photo Correspondent reports that the new ectoplasmic filter on her camera has one again produced startling results! Look carefully in the below photo:

Could this be a real photo of a ghost in Disneyland\'s Pirates of the Caribbean attraction?

Do you see the blue figure toward the right of the photo? Well, that’s not an animatronic pirate — it’s a glowing creature from beyond the veil of death!!! (or perhaps a wandering cast member.)

So far, there is no possibly worldly explanation for the appearance of this figure. Those of you who think you have ready explanations are clearly, obviously misunderstanding what the phrase “no possible explanation” means.

Certainly this puts to rest any doubts about whether or not Disneyland’s Pirates of the Caribbean attraction is haunted. But why is it haunted? Are the spirits of the copious workers killed during its construction angered by the insertion of Pirate-movie characters into their previously relatively non-commercial realm? Do they return from the realm of death to torture those who take flash pictures? Or does this lonely phantom simply “wants the redhead”? Who knows?????

Tags: ,
Posted in Disneyland, Photo, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

Hurricane to “Hit” Epcot

Tuesday, May 20th, 2008

Later this year, a new attraction in Epcot’s Innoventions will show guests exactly how it would feel to survive a devastating hurricane. When “Hurricane Goofy” strikes, guests will be subjected chest-crushing winds, rain that feels like bullets, and debris screaming through the air fast enough to be driven through the trunk of a tree. At one point, the hurricane will strike a junk yard and guests will see a Boeing 747 spontaneously assembled by the unpredictable winds.

Young children (and any guests weighing less than 250 pounds) will be lashed in place to avoid being uncomfortably thrown about the room (which, during play testing, was found to be unnervingly disorienting).

It is expected that this attraction will be most popular with guests who are not from coastal Florida. Should a real hurricane hit Walt Disney World during operating hours, performances of this attraction will be held outdoors.

Tags: ,
Posted in Epcot | Comments Off on Hurricane to “Hit” Epcot

Disneyland junk cave

Monday, May 19th, 2008

Joining the difficult-to-get-into fort, here’s another sign that there is still quite a bit of work to be done on Pirate’s Lare on Tom Sawyer Island. Apparently there is a shortage of space in Disneyland’s back-stage areas, because one of the island’s old caves is being used for storage of old props and other “junk.”

Disneyland junk cave

The cave is technically off limits, but to the adventurous Disney fan it is quite a treasure trove! Before she were ejected from the park and charged with felony trespassing, our Official DisneyLies Photo Correspondent saw a Rocket Rod, quite a few freshly removed “it’s a small world” figures, and two thirds of Abe Lincoln.

Tags: , ,
Posted in Disneyland, Photo | Comments Off on Disneyland junk cave

Narnia abridged

Friday, May 16th, 2008

It has been announced that, due to sluggish toy sales and lack of overwhelming interest, Disney will not be making films of the entire Chronicles of Narnia series as originally planned. Instead, the third film — Voyage of the Silver Horse and His Last Nephew’s Battle — will be the last in the series.

Tags:
Posted in Movies | Comments Off on Narnia abridged

Silly Stinger

Thursday, May 15th, 2008

The rumor mill* tells us that California Adventure’s fabulous Orange Stinger attraction — the most beloved fruit-themed attraction in that entire area of the park — is going to be completely rethemed during an upcoming refurbishment. The attraction will become the Silly Symphonies Swings, themed to the Mickey Mouse short subject “The Band Concert”. In keeping with the theme, the attraction will be entirely wind powered, its theme music will be a duet of “The Storm” and “Turkey in the Straw,” and this will be the first DCA attraction built entirely in TechnicolorTM.

*The one on WDW’s Tom Sawyer Island

Tags: ,
Posted in DCA | Comments Off on Silly Stinger

Indiana Jones Summer of Hidden Media Tie-ins

Wednesday, May 14th, 2008

The fourth Indiana Jones film (Indiana Jones and the Magic Quartz Head) will be released to theaters next week, and Disneyland has announced that there will be a number of exciting activities in Adventureland to help the park ride on the film’s advertising shirttails. Specifically:

  • Indiana Jones Adventure Map: Guests will be able to buy a map that shows in great detail every nook and cranny of Adventureland — from the nearest bathroom to the farthest branch of Tarzan’s Tree House. No more getting lost in this expansive themed area!
  • Adventure Photo Location: Ever want to have a cast member in a neat hat take your picture so that you didn’t have to hold your own camera? Now you can!
  • Indiana Jones Adventure Queue: The Indy ride’s queue will be “plussed” with extra dust, muskier darkness, more guests, and more of that great “lived in” feeling that everyone enjoys. Also, the safety spiel video will be replaced with the original Raiders of the Lost Ark.
  • Jungle Cruise: Some animatronic animals will be replaced with characters from the Indiana Jones films, and Jungle Cruise Skippers will have a new spiel incorporating Indy-themed elements. For example: “Some people say that Adolf Hitler could jump thirty feet, but don’t worry — we’re only ten feet away so he’ll heil right over us.”
  • Indiana Jones in Adventureland: Indiana Jones himself will appear in Adventureland and do battle with an evil guy! The battle will include rooftop action, whip fights, acrobatics, and carefully orchestrated fisticuffs, ranging all over Adventureland (except during times of high crowds, during which Indy will just shoot the guy).
  • Animatronic Indy: Indiana Jones figures will be added to Pirates of the Caribbean, and rumor has it that young Indiana Jones will appear in a certain “small” attraction after its extensive refurb ends.
  • And more: Later in the year, watch for the opening of Indiana Jones’ Secret Base at Pirate’s Lair on Tom Sawyer Island!

Tags: , ,
Posted in Disneyland | Comments Off on Indiana Jones Summer of Hidden Media Tie-ins

Slowest time at the park in years

Tuesday, May 13th, 2008

The data has just finished being crunched, and last week was officially Disneyland’s least busy week since Cynthia Harris was doused with a bucket of water and melted away.

According to Fanciful Disney Accountant Scrooge McGeek, “The slowdown in attendance appears to coincide specifically and precisely with the release of video game ‘Grand Theft Auto IV’. Apparently, people have been staying at home and playing this new game instead of choosing more wholesome American activities like attending theme parks. Indeed, mid-week Main Street was so empty that you could race down the middle of it at 90 mph in a convertible and swing a bat out the window without hitting so much as a stray hooker.”

Tags: ,
Posted in Disneyland | Comments Off on Slowest time at the park in years

Jungle Cruise hidden Lincoln

Monday, May 12th, 2008

Jungle Cruise hidden Lincoln

Our Official Disney Lies Photo Correspondent has spotted yet another Hidden Lincoln at Disneyland! This one is in the Jungle Cruise attraction. Near the end of the ride, you can just make out one fish that is dressed like Honest Abe?

Remember, if you see a Hidden Lincoln at Disneyland, send us a photo!

Tags:
Posted in Disneyland, Hidden Lincoln, Photo | Comments Off on Jungle Cruise hidden Lincoln

« Older Entries