VIP FASTPASS

A recent post on the Unofficial Disney Fan Insider Unvetted Rumor Central Blog revealed that each and every day Disneyland issues as many as ten VIP FASTPASSes to what are described as “guests who are so high profile that they deserve better treatment than mere humans but are too cheap to hire a private tour guide.” Recipients of these special passes include high-profile politicians, celebrities, professional athletes, rock stars, friends of corporate executives, “hunks,” and “babes.” On less crowded days of the year, Guest Services may also “throw a bone” to the occasional Nobel or Pulitzer prize winner.

A VIP FASTPASS grants the bearer many privileges, including the right to:

  • Skip to the front of any attraction queue.
  • Go to the front of an attraction queue without skipping.
  • Receive priority seating at any restaurant, show, parade, fireworks display, smoking area, or prime people-watching location.
  • Receive a free bonus scoop of popcorn with the purchase of a popcorn scoop at the regular price.
  • Get nothing but extra-optimistic fortunes from the Esmeralda machine on Main Street.
  • Ride Splash Mountain without getting wet.
  • Not visit Disney’s California Adventure at all.

Some Disneyland fans are quite upset about these VIP FASTPASSes, and with good reason. As one fan put it, “FASTPASS already has too many capital letters in it. VIP FASTPASS is just gilding the Empress Lilly. And it’s a pain to type.”

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