Tron Comes Alive

To promote the release of the remake of Tron in 2011, Disneyland will be installing a highly detailed, fully animated, audioanimatronic Tron figure in the Main Street Opera House in early 2009.

Delusional Disney Imagineer M.C.P. Hammer tells us, “No expense has been spared in the creation of this attraction. It is completely original, and unlike anything guests will have ever experienced. To begin, guests will be seated in the theater and given special headphones, which they will put on as the lights are turned off. They will then be treated to a 3D audio performance from within the world of Tron, depicting a typical scene in which famous digital photographer Mainframe Brady receives a computer-assisted haircut.

“Then there will be a moving slide presentation accompanied by a song about how two ‘brothers’ — hardware and software — are in a constant battle with progress. The main event that everyone has been waiting for follows immediately. The curtain will open, revealing Tron sitting in a large chair. He will look a little older than he did in the original film, with a few wrinkles and sporting a beard, and will be dressed in black with bright stripes that glow, as if someone has glued tubes filled with LEDs to an old suit. Tron will then speak, delivering the Gettysburg Address just as he learned it from a file downloaded from Project Gutenberg. At the end of the speech, the chips and wires in the computer landscape behind him will begin to glow in red, white, and blue, eventually becoming a gigantic American flag — a symbol of America’s computer innovation!”

Sounds like an excellent show. We can’t wait to see it!

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