Archive for March, 2008

HM Hidden Lincoln!

Monday, March 31st, 2008

Our Official DisneyLies Photo Correspondent has done it again! While on the Haunted Mansion attraction, ODLPC noticed a hidden Lincoln — one that even the DisneyLies.com editors were unaware of! It’s small and distant, but clearly seen within the circle in this photo:

Haunted Mansion hidden Lincoln

The photo of Abe Lincoln standing with his hand on his hip is on the open page of a book (Famous Presidents of Disneyland, according to one source). We will immediately send this photo off to HiddenLincolns.org for verification, but we’re completely sure it’s authentic!

(And remember, if you see a hidden Lincoln on Disney property, we want a photo!)

Twilight Zone Details

Friday, March 28th, 2008

It’s commonly held that the original Twilight Zone Tower of Terror (currently at Disney Hollywood Studios after being moved, at great expense, from its home at Disney/MGM Studios) is the finest incarnation of the attraction. But on a recent trip to Disney’s California Adventure, our Official DisneyLies Photo Correspondent discovered a little something unique to DCA’s tower — the anti-gravity spot!

This spot — a tribute to the original Twilight Zone episode “Little Girl Filled with Helium and Lost” — is in one corner of the hotel’s main lobby. Everything above the spot instantly rises to the ceiling, as the antique jar and pair of glasses in this photo have done.

Twilight Zone Tower of Terror antigravity

Unfortunately, the antigravity spot is far removed from the attraction queue and surrounded by a steel-mesh grating so there’s no opportunity to stand in it and see what happens. Oh well!

Old Moves

Thursday, March 27th, 2008

Complaints continue to come in regarding the quality of performance of Walt Disney World costumed characters. It seems that many of their jokes are ancient to the point of being essentially humorless. The Official Disney Lies Photographer happened to catch Chip performing an outdated Lord of the Dance routine, much to the confusion of all concerned.

Chip’s Lord of the Dance

If you happen to see a Disney character giving an out-of-date performance, please snap a photo and send it in!

New song from Edison Square

Wednesday, March 26th, 2008

This evening, at a show in Anaheim, Disney-fan band Edison Square premiered a new song based on the video-game hit “Still Alive” by Jonathan Coulton. They were nice enough to supply us with a copy of the lyrics, but you really have to hear the song live — with the computer-voice filter and all – to really get the full impact.


Still Alive

I am a failure.
You thought I would be a
Huge success.
It’s hard to deal with all of this rejection.
Disney California.
It sounded just brilliant at the time
On day one I was a star.
But on day two I was dead.

Focusing on shopping was a major mistake.
As was putting nothing in a gigantic lake.
But to just let me die,
Would be a big black eye,
So years later I am still alive.

Superstar Limo.
God I am so depressed right now.
The prices at the restaurants almost killed me.
The lack of attractions.
And nothing for younger kids to do.
Every complaint hurt because they were all totally true.

Now it’s eight years later,
Profits are a flat line.
But a billion dollars is going to be mine.
So I know you got burned,
But I think the corner’s turned,
And they’re working to keep me alive.

Go ahead and leave me.
I know that there’s fireworks outside.
Maybe you’d like someone else’s vision.
Cynthia Harris.
(That was a joke. Ha ha. That bitch.)
Anyway I will be great when the placemaking is done.

Look at me still whining when there’s building to do.
Add a night-time show,
And some Pixar stuff, too.
There are failures to be killed,
And some theming to rebuild,
But a billion will keep me alive.

Two-fer tickets and I’m still alive
Toy Story Midway and I’m still alive
A Cars attraction and I’m still alive
A new entrance and I’m still alive
One-point-one billion and I’m still alive
Still alive.
Still alive.

*

Wednesday, March 26th, 2008

Pixar’s next feature film is titled Wall*E — but how many of you know what the “*” in the film’s title stands for?
The story is long and interesting, but in the interest of my not having to type so much, I’ll just give you the boring details.

In 2001, the folks at Pixar decided that they should do a movie about robots. They did a lot of brainstorming about plot and design, but mostly they just discussed the robot’s name — what should it be? Obviously, it should be something robot like, and since people were so used to seeing a lowercase “i” in the names of computer equipment (iPod, iTunes, iGlasses), something with one of those might be nice. They also wanted the robot’s name to reflect the fact that it lived on a planet where insurmountable walls of garbage had made the place unlivable.

Hence the name iWall was formed.

But that name didn’t last long. Common wisdom was that the name sounded too much like the name of a country (I-ran, I-raq, I-reland). Well, what if they put the “i” at the end of the name? “Wall-i” — hmmm.

Wall-i sounded good, and it fit with the fact that the robot was supposed to have a lazy eye. But it never caught on. People started referring to the robot as “Wall-a,” “Wall-o,” “Wall-u,” and sometimes “Wall-y,” which was actually close to a real name. The idea of a name that sounded like a real name was appealing, so to appease the it-needs-to-have-a-vowel folks the robot was rechristened “Wall-e”.

So far so good. But wasn’t a hyphenated name passé? And might it not make people think that “Wall-e” was a hyphenated last name and robot’s parents were Mr. Wall and Ms. e? So other forms of punctuation were tried:

Wall/e
Wall?e
Wall@e
Wall^e
Wall[e
Wall:e
Www.all.e
Wall_e
Wall Wall:-)e

And, finally, Wall*e.

But why an asterisk when some of the other bits of punctuation look much better? The answer is simple — there’s a footnote in the middle of Wall*e’s name. In the film, if you happen to catch a glimpse of the bottom of the tread on the robot’s foot, you may see the text of the footnote: “*Formerly Wall-i.”

Neat, eh?

Bats!

Tuesday, March 25th, 2008

Disney’s Animal Kingdom will begin a new tradition next Monday with its first nightly bat release. Each night, just before closing, some 300 bats of various species will be released from special pens near the park entrance. They will fly just above guests’ heads, accompanied by a stirring rendition of “Night on Bald Mountain,” through the park to the Tree of Life where they will echolocate themselves to comfortable, custom-made “caves”.

Says Animal Kingdom animal entertainment spokesperson Eaton Mutton, “At one time, the Magic Kingdom had a tradition of releasing a gigantic swarm of doves each night at dusk. Unfortunately, local hawks learned the bird-release schedule — from the Internet, most likely — and began hanging around the park to pick off young or weak birds from our flock. When the hawks didn’t respond to legal action, we were forced to cancel the nightly bird releases. Our hope is that these bat releases will have all the thrill of the dove releases without the wildlife complications. And if any hawks do show up, hoping for an easy meal, they will get one heck of a surprise. These bats can take care of themselves. Seriously, you should see the size of these things.”

Hidden Mickeys!

Monday, March 24th, 2008

Disney fans love searching the parks for hidden Mickeys (HMs). Our Official DisneyLies Photo Correspondent is no different, and she sent us photos of a number of HMs from a recent visit to Disneyland Resort.

New Orleans Square hidden Mickey

This HM, found in New Orleans Square, has unusually small ears. We assume it is supposed to represent a young Mickey Mouse.

Disney’s California Adventure hidden Mickey

This HM, from Disney’s California Adventure, is of the “exploded Mickey” type. Exploded Mickeys can be found in a number of DCA locations, and Disneymaniacs are hopeful that, during the extensive demolition that will preceed upcoming DCA improvements, they will get to see an exploded Mickey actually explode!

Indiana Jones hidden Mickey?

Do you see the HM in this photo from the Indiana Jones attraction? No? Here, we’ll crop, rotate, stretch, and enhance the photo. See it now?

Indiana Jones hidden Minnie detail

If you answered yes, then you’re wrong! That’s not a hidden Mickey, but a hidden Minnie, and they don’t count. Heck, it doesn’t even look that much like Minnie (it’s all blurry, distorted, and full of compression noise). While we’re at it, the hidden Eyeore in this attraction doesn’t count either, so stop sending us photos.

That’s it for this time. Thanks, Official DisneyLies Photo Correspondent!

Trouble in the jungle

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008

Due to a hydraulics failure yesterday afternoon, underwater barriers in Disneyland’s Jungle Cruise were unable to close in time, and a number of ravenous animatronic piranha escaped their designated area. The results were horrific, with two animatronic hippos and one animatronic water buffalo reduced to their component parts in minutes.

Animatronic hippo being devoured on Disneyland’s Jungle Cruise attraction

Tron Comes Alive

Friday, March 21st, 2008

To promote the release of the remake of Tron in 2011, Disneyland will be installing a highly detailed, fully animated, audioanimatronic Tron figure in the Main Street Opera House in early 2009.

Delusional Disney Imagineer M.C.P. Hammer tells us, “No expense has been spared in the creation of this attraction. It is completely original, and unlike anything guests will have ever experienced. To begin, guests will be seated in the theater and given special headphones, which they will put on as the lights are turned off. They will then be treated to a 3D audio performance from within the world of Tron, depicting a typical scene in which famous digital photographer Mainframe Brady receives a computer-assisted haircut.

“Then there will be a moving slide presentation accompanied by a song about how two ‘brothers’ — hardware and software — are in a constant battle with progress. The main event that everyone has been waiting for follows immediately. The curtain will open, revealing Tron sitting in a large chair. He will look a little older than he did in the original film, with a few wrinkles and sporting a beard, and will be dressed in black with bright stripes that glow, as if someone has glued tubes filled with LEDs to an old suit. Tron will then speak, delivering the Gettysburg Address just as he learned it from a file downloaded from Project Gutenberg. At the end of the speech, the chips and wires in the computer landscape behind him will begin to glow in red, white, and blue, eventually becoming a gigantic American flag — a symbol of America’s computer innovation!”

Sounds like an excellent show. We can’t wait to see it!

Sweater Day

Thursday, March 20th, 2008

In honor of what would have been the 80th birthday of Fred “Mr.” Rogers, cast members at all U.S. Disney parks and facilities will be wearing sweaters. Cast members will also be required to sing a happy little song in the morning when they get their sweaters out of their lockers.

Guests are invited to join in the fun by wearing sweaters and sneakers, avoiding the use of big words, and not discussing their violent past as a Navy Seal.