Archive for February, 2008

Disneyland Martial Arts Festival

Friday, February 15th, 2008

The Disneyland Martial Arts Festival takes place tomorrow. If you are the kind of person who likes to try to cut into lines or push other guests out of the way, tomorrow would be a very bad day to go to Disneyland.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Thursday, February 14th, 2008

Happy Valentine’s Day to all our loyal DisneyLies Blog readers!

In celebration of this happy event, we have arranged a special promotion with the Disneyland Resort! Just approach any Resort ticket booth today during normal operating hours and say that you would like the “DisneyLies Valentine’s Day special.” You will then be able to purchase a two-park ticket for the price of a one-day park hopper! (Get it — it’s Valentine’s Day so you get two together, like a happy loving couple!) That’s a significant savings compared to the price of purchasing separate tickets for each park. Share the special with someone you love!

Enjoy! And be sure to write to us and tell us how you used all the money you saved!

Writers’ Strike is Over!

Wednesday, February 13th, 2008

It appears that the Hollywood writers’ strike is over — thanks, in part, to occasional quips to the media from former Disney head muckmaker Michael Eisner (or so says his publicist).

This will mean that many Disney Channel and ABC television shows can go back into production as soon as currently destitute production staff can be gathered, with hopes that many shows can be put “in the can” before the actors’ strike anticipated for later this year (to be followed by director, producer, key grip, best boy, animated character, foley, and craft services strikes, in that order, at five or six month intervals).

“The first order of business,” says alleged Disney spokesperson Sylvia Liesalot, “will be to get back to work on dozens and dozens of High School Musical sequels, remakes, and spin offs. There’s even going to be a retro reworking of the whole original HSM starring the original Mousketeers, or at least the surviving ones. And we’re going to try and work musical teenagers into other shows, like Lost and especially Desperate Housewives. After the strike, the writers must have piles of pent-up creativity, and we’re going to use as much of it as we can before they realize what a farce their new contract really is. Ha — just kidding on that one!”

Hidden Lincolns

Tuesday, February 12th, 2008

To commemorate the birthday of Abraham Lincoln — famous for being Walt Disney’s favorite President (among other things) — we’d like to remind our readers that even though his animatronic simulacrum is currently on hiatus, there is still plenty of “Abe” to be found in Disneyland.

Just as many Mickey Mouse silhouettes are hidden throughout the park, so are many images of Lincoln. It can be a lot of fun looking for these “hidden Lincolns” as you walk through the park, wait for rides, or wonder where you parked your car. For images of many of the Lincolns, visit

10 Ways Visiting Disneyland is Better Than Sex

Monday, February 11th, 2008

By popular demand, we now bring you (in no particular order) ten ways in which visiting Disneyland is better than having sex:

  1. You can do it with your cousin without breaking the law.
  2. If you’re on a ride and something breaks, you won’t end up pregnant.
  3. You can do it on a first date without coming across as “easy.”
  4. You don’t have to worry about shaving your legs beforehand.
  5. No unexpected “souvenirs.”
  6. The person with the “Goofy” face is never you.
  7. Nobody looks at you funny if you have to ask where something is.
  8. You can brag about it the next day without offending anyone.
  9. You can eat ice cream at the same time.
  10. There’s always a happy ending.

Wendy Predicts: FSM at WDW

Friday, February 8th, 2008

According to Wendy the Disney Psychic’s latest Mickey Mouse tarot card reading, later this year the Walt Disney Company will obtain the rights to that pop-culture phenomenon, the Flying Spaghetti Monster. An announcement will be made in the third quarter regarding the acquisition, along with art showing a planned FSM area at Disney’s Animal Kingdom. The new area will feature a themed restaurant, a no-denominational temple, and a meet-and-greet area where guests of all ages can come to be “touched by his noodley appendage.”

“it’s a small world” Rehab Update

Thursday, February 7th, 2008

The least-capitalized attraction at Disneyland is closed for refurbishment, and news is that part of the refurbishment will include adding classic Disney characters to key scenes throughout the attraction. Says Imagineer Atilla Pseudonym, “Extensive research showed that modern children were just not connecting with the attraction. There was nothing in the show for kids to identify with, as they identify with pirates on Pirates or teaspoons on the teacups. I mean, who are kids going to identify with in a ride filled with children?”

Although all the details have yet to be released, some of the characters appearing in the ride will include:

  • The Little Mermaid finding Nemo in Atlantis
  • The Rescuers fighting crocodiles in Australia
  • Flik and friends helping army ants eat an Amazon rain forest
  • Pocahontas and some of Peter Pan’s Indian friends in India
  • Goofy just randomly hanging from the ceiling somewhere
  • Disney executives trying desperately to build things in China
  • Mickey Mouse defending his copyright around the world

Toy Story, The Musical

Wednesday, February 6th, 2008

Guests on the Disney Cruse Line ship Disney Wonder will soon be able to enjoy Toy Story live on stage as a fully realized musical! Many viewers were disappointed that the characters in the original Toy Story movie did not sing, so in this production, Buzz (for example) will sing along with Randy Newman’s delightful “sailing” balad as he dives off a banister and breaks his arm off. It should be a treat for the whole family!

Update: We’ve just learned that, to correspond with the upcoming rerelease of the Toy Story movies, Toy Story, The Musical will be performed entirely in 3D!

Movin’ on in Anaheim

Tuesday, February 5th, 2008

As part of its strategy to build the resort feeling of its Anaheim properties, Disney is in negotiations with the city to build a transportation system that will link Disneyland Resort, Angles stadium, the Anaheim Convention Center, the new triffid-themed Gardenwalk project, and Disneyland’s soon-to-be-built third park (Disney’s Inland Tokyo Sea California).

There has been much speculation about what the transportation system will be, with monorails, peoplemovers, and modified “it’s a small world” ride vehicles being the most popular choices. But Chevy Impaala, our anonymous contact within Team Disney, says that none of these ideas are accurate.

“People are thinking correctly when they assume that something in the parks will be repurposed for the transportation system,” says Impaala. “But considering the large scale and expected usage numbers of the system, Disney has decided to stick with its greatest strength — the queue. One enormous queue will link all locations, efficiently moving guests from place to place. It’s simple, it’s inexpensive, and it uses tested technology. The initial rollout, planned for 2010, includes a FASTPASS system, so that, for example, those with tickets for Angels Stadium will be able to get a FASTPASS so that they arrive at the stadium before those who do not plan their day as carefully, but without having to stand around all day.”

New Dimension for Toys

Tuesday, February 5th, 2008

Toy Story and Toy Story 2 will be rereleased in theaters (in 2009 and 2010 respectively, but not necessarily in that order), but this time there will new depth to the story. Both films will be released in 3D, offering an additional dimension of entertainment to those who own 3D glasses.

The reworking of the computer animated portion of the films for 3D is not particularly difficult, in that it can be accomplished by computer. However, calling Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, and other stars of the film back into the studio to re-record their dialogue in 3D is proving to be very time consuming. (The part of Slinky Dog will be recreated by Jim Carey because Jim Varney, being dead, is not available.)