In anticipation of the new Indiana Jones film, Disney Hollywood Studios will be updating its Indiana Jones stunt show. “We have to keep up with the times,” said supposed stunt coordinator Roof Fallsalat. “Indy’s a little longer in the tooth, and that means he’s more experienced, but it also means that he has new problems to deal with.” Rumor has it that the new script pits Indy against a number of new challenges, including a failing memory, a rising belt line, lack of appeal to young women, an increased danger of breaking a hip, impotence, and forced retirement.