Archive for February, 2008

« Older Entries

Disney’s Fairies Pixie Hollow

Friday, February 29th, 2008

Very soon, young Disney fans will be able to visit Disney’s latest online world, Disney’s Fairies Pixie Hollow (DFPH). DFPH joins Disney’s growing family of online worlds, which to date includes Virtually Magic Kingdom and Penguin Clubbing. DFPH will be very different than its predecessors, though, in that it will combine both familiar and new characters with World of Warcraft-style combat and character levels.

“You’ve never seen online combat until you’ve seen Pixie vs. Fairy combat,” says Tink Slaughter, a fictional Disney Online spokesperson. “There will be massive battles involving hundreds of the wee folk slinging blinding pixie dust, dive bombing in trails of sparkles, and folding their arms and pouting when enemies just won’t die as fast as they might like.”

Sounds great — sign us up!

Posted in Other | Comments Off on Disney’s Fairies Pixie Hollow

Prius Lawsuit Dismissed

Thursday, February 28th, 2008

Last week, a judge dismissed a lawsuit against the Walt Disney Company regarding the use of Toyota Prius hybrid vehicles at Walt Disney World. Said Disney law aficionado Eubanks Q. Ambchaser, “The suit claimed that Disney discriminates against those with environmental sensibilities by requiring them to leave their fuel-efficient hybrid vehicles behind when they enter Walt Disney World theme parks. The plaintiffs asserted that these vehicles were far more efficient than many of the vehicles in use within the parks — such as steam engines, horses, and churro carts — and therefore could not be reasonably excluded. Disney countered that most walkways and attraction queues were not Prius compatible. District court judge Bob C. Payola laughed so hard at the charges that he had to change his robe, but dismissed the case before doing so.”

Posted in Legal, WDW | Comments Off on Prius Lawsuit Dismissed

Feature #50

Wednesday, February 27th, 2008

Disney’s 50th animated feature has been approved and is moving into production. All Together Now is going to be a musical tour-de-force, starring characters from all preceding Disney animated features. The film will be a combination of 2D and 3D animation, much to the delight of fans of both mediums.

“We are very pleased to have put together a plan that will allow Disney to return to traditional animation, at least in part, in time for its fiftieth feature,” said Pete Schill, supposedly a Disney animation lead. “To keep costs under control, All Together will be composed entirely of animation recycled from other films, but with all new dialogue by current hot Disney stars. It’ll be like a wonderful collage — funny, delightful, nostalgic, and most importantly, cheap.”

We at DisneyLies can’t wait! See you at the movies in 2011!

Posted in Animation | Comments Off on Feature #50

Heil Ho, Heil Ho!

Tuesday, February 26th, 2008

Gustov Fuhrurfan, head of Hitlermania, an Adolf-Hitler-themed museum in Norway, claims to have discovered a number of sketches of Disneys Seven Dwarfs made by Hitler himself. “This is pretty definitive proof,” said Fuhrurfan, “that Walt Disney himself hired Adolf to do character design for Snow White. There is really no other possible explanation, and I recommend that anyone who disagrees with this assessment be investigated by the government with extreme prejudice.”

Fuhrurfan also contends that Hitler was a key animator on several Mickey Mouse shorts (most notably, “Poland Trouble”) and recommended that Disney organize his theme park into “easily conquered ‘lands’.”

Posted in Animation | Comments Off on Heil Ho, Heil Ho!

New Indy!

Monday, February 25th, 2008

In anticipation of the new Indiana Jones film, Disney Hollywood Studios will be updating its Indiana Jones stunt show. “We have to keep up with the times,” said supposed stunt coordinator Roof Fallsalat. “Indy’s a little longer in the tooth, and that means he’s more experienced, but it also means that he has new problems to deal with.” Rumor has it that the new script pits Indy against a number of new challenges, including a failing memory, a rising belt line, lack of appeal to young women, an increased danger of breaking a hip, impotence, and forced retirement.

Posted in WDW | Comments Off on New Indy!

A Perfect Storm — of Fun!

Friday, February 22nd, 2008

Epcot’s Innovations will soon be home to a new exhibit, StormStruck: A Tale of Two Homes’ Utter Destruction. This exhibit will show families in a graphic, realistic way just how easily their home can be destroyed by a hurricane, tornado, flood, fire, volcano, meteor, sinkhole, riot, broken gas main, out-of-control propane delivery truck, airplane crash, accidental industrial poison gas release, atomic power plant misadventure, lightning strike, zombie attack, quantum fluctuation, fit of parental psychosis, nuclear first strike, radon leak, or plague of reptiles/insects (among other things). But in Disney tradition the attraction’s serious message will be tempered with fun!

“It’s going to be a great time for everyone,” says Disney spokesperson Amy “Not a Real Spokesperson” Fakesalot. “We’re going to make kids wish their home could be destroyed!”

The StormStruck exhibit will be completely funded by FEMA, which, to date, has not sent Disney the promised funds and is apparently not even aware that the exhibit is under construction.

Posted in WDW | Comments Off on A Perfect Storm — of Fun!

New Future, New House

Thursday, February 21st, 2008

For ten years starting in 1957, the entrance to Disneyland’s Tomorrowland was bottlenecked by the fabulously popular Monsanto House of the Future. This demonstration of quasi-science-fiction technology featured the latest in furniture (collapsing kitchen table, all-plastic bookcase for all-plastic books, the toilet sofa), appliances (zero-point-energy toaster, absolute vacuum, electric clothes disintegrator), gadgets (robotic dog feeder, robotic-dog feeder, robotic robotic-dog-feeder repairer), and transportation (atomic car, hyperspace bicycle, a flying dinghy thingy — what were they thinking!) that seemed impossible at the time but are now quite commonplace.

Proving that everything that is old is new again, this May Disneyland will unveil an all new house of the future in which tomorrow’s technologies will be showcased today (today being next May). This new house of the future will feature a story-driven demonstration starring the fictional Elias family (Disney fans will know the significance of this — Walt Disney’s middle name was “Family”) who are preparing to leave to attend some kind of “best kept secret” time-share seminar in China. Once they leave, guests can wander through the house and root around in the Elias’s possessions without fear of being caught.

The new house of the future will feature many innovations (no pun intended), including:

  • Copious moving walkways.
  • Transportation tubes.
  • Entire meals that can be made with the push of a button.
  • Levitating chairs.
  • A robot housekeeper named Rosie.
  • A horribly dangerous outdoor exercise treadmill.

In a nod to the original House of the Future, the show will end with a demonstration proving that, due to the use of modern plastics, nothing in the house — not even the Elias’s themselves — can be destroyed with a demolition-quality wrecking ball. What fun!

Posted in Disneyland | Comments Off on New Future, New House

American Idol, Live!

Wednesday, February 20th, 2008

Later this year, a live version of the popular American Idol show will open at Disney Hollywood Studios, giving park guests a chance to be laughed at and criticized in a way they never could at some simple Pleasure Island karoke-night event. Guests will be able to try out for the opportunity to perform in front of C-list celebrity judges and an audience of other guests (who will be able to vote for their favorites via text message for just $1 — or $2 if they are on the Disney dining plan). The day’s winners will gather for an evening Grand Prize competition, with the big winner receiving a ticket for a place standing in a line outside the studio where the real American Idol is filmed so they can beg passing executives and celebrities for a chance to audition.

Posted in WDW | Comments Off on American Idol, Live!

Cheetah Cheated?

Tuesday, February 19th, 2008

Deborah Gregory, the author of the “Cheetah Girls” books, claims that Disney has not lived up to its part of the contract signed when she gave the studio the rights to her books. “When they said that they were buying all rights in perpetuity for $14.95, I thought they were kidding,” says Gregory. “Also, I should have looked up what ‘perpetuity’ means.”

Gregory is also irritated that Disney has strayed from the original tone and content of her novels, which are about a clique of teenage lycanthropic girls who date cute guys and then turn into ravenous jungle cats and eat them.

Posted in Disney Corporate | Comments Off on Cheetah Cheated?

Golden Dreams Trivia

Monday, February 18th, 2008

At Disney’s California Adventure, guests can experience Golden Dreams, a film about Whoopi Goldberg’s influence on hundreds of years of California history. At the end of the film, there is a montage of scenes and photos of significant events in California’s past. One of the short clips depicts the fall of the Berlin wall, prompting many people who went to American public schools to ask themselves, “Where exactly in California was the Berlin wall located?”

Those of you who remember correctly that the Berlin wall was in the Soviet Union probably wonder what its fall is doing in a film about California. The fact is that the wall-fall footage has three links to California:

  1. Ronald Regan, who ordered the U.S.S.R. to take down the wall, used to be Governor or California,
  2. The handles of the sledgehammers used to destroy the wall were made from California pine, and
  3. The wall itself, although appearing to be made of concrete, was actually a light-weight structure fashioned under the direction of Hollywood movie-set designers.

Posted in DCA, Trivia | Comments Off on Golden Dreams Trivia

« Older Entries