Song of the South Director’s Cut

In January, Disney will release, for the first time on DVD, Song of the South ‑ the Director’s Cut. The name of the project is a bit of a misnomer, in that this brand-new re-editing of the controversial animation classic was not created at the behest of its original director, but by Disney’s marketing department.

The new cut includes no scenes that anyone could possibly find offensive. “We don’t want to offend anyone,” said imaginary Disney spokesperson Polly Sensitive. “This is a kinder, gentler film, with no troublesome imagery and a running time that is more in keeping with today’s on-the-go lifestyle.”

The film, now approximately four seconds long and consisting entirely of the Buena Vista distribution logo reveal, will be available at Staples in spindles of 100 for use as blank DVD media.

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