Archive for January, 2008

Annie Leibovitz Again

Thursday, January 31st, 2008

Once again, Annie Leibovitz had photographically recreated three scenes from classic Disney animation using famous people as models. This set includes scenes from Aladdin (with Geri “Ginger Spice” Halliwell and as Jasmine, David Bowie as Aladdin, and Shaquille O’Neal as Genie), Peter Pan (with the late Dave Thomas as Wendy, Elton John as Tinkerbell, and Michael Jackson as Peter), and Pocahontas (with Pokémon in the title role).

This set of photos is being released much earlier than originally anticipated, largely because of growing controversy over Leibovitz photographic technique. Apparently, rumors are circulating that Photoshop or some kind of darkroom techniques are being used, and that they are not exactly as they appear in life (as Leibovitz swears on her mother-in-law’s life and a stack of what are apparently Bibles they are)

10 Ways Visiting Disneyland is Like Having Sex

Wednesday, January 30th, 2008

Everyone knows that going to Disneyland is the most fun you can have with your clothes on. But how does it compare to fun without your clothes on? Pretty well, it turns out. Case in point: here (in no particular order) are ten ways that visiting Disneyland is like having sex.

  1. It’s best with someone you love, but is also fun when you’re part of a group.
  2. If it’s all you ever talk about, people will start to avoid you.
  3. It’s a form of entertainment focused on attractions.
  4. There are some things you just can’t do if you’re not big enough.
  5. It may involve a woman dressed as Alice in Wonderland.
  6. Unless you can convince someone to take you, it can be pretty expensive.
  7. If it’s your first time, you can buy a book about it or visit one of the hundreds of Web sites devoted to the subject.
  8. It’s pretty pathetic if you do it every day by yourself.
  9. The older you are, the more you appreciate it.
  10. When it’s over you’re exhausted, but you wake up the next morning with a big smile on your face.

Delete Your MySpace Account Day

Wednesday, January 30th, 2008

As January 30th is International Delete Your MySpace Account Day, Disney would like to remind you that today would be a great time to create a Virtual Magic Kingdom account (if you don’t already have one, which you should). International Delete Your Virtual Magic Kingdom Account Day isn’t until some time in November, so you’ll have plenty of time to enjoy your new pastime.

Dream Time Tonight

Tuesday, January 29th, 2008

A super-secret “Dream Time” event will be held tonight at Disneyland, allowing certain lucky guests to remain in the park for an hour after normal closing time. The days on which this special promotion is to be offered were supposed to be secret, but since this date leaked out, Disney is maintaining the surprise by not revealing which hour after closing the park will be open for.

During their special Dream Time hour, randomly chosen guests will be able to wander the park with no crowds to hinder them. Attractions, shows, and restaurants will, of course, be closed, because cast members will have gone home for the evening.

Matterhorn Bobsleds Closed

Monday, January 28th, 2008

Disneyland’s Matterhorn Bobsleds will be closed for three days to test new ride vehicles. These vehicles are equipped with special infrasound speakers that emit something Imagineers refer to as “the brown note” when the yeti is seen. The goal of the project is to make the attraction (as one imaginary Imagineer put it), “So scary that you’ll have to change your clothes.”

Trivia: Herbie the Love Babe?

Friday, January 25th, 2008

All Disney fans are familiar with Herbie, the lovable anthropomorphic VW bug from The Love Bug and a raft of sequels and remakes. But did you know that the car originally chosen to play Herbie was, in fact, a girl? “It’s a lot like the situation with Lassie,” says Pete Wrench, car customizer to the stars. “Lassie was a girl dog that played a boy dog, only in that case ‘Lassie’ is kind of a girly name where ‘Herbie’ isn’t, but it’s no big deal. Who cares? It’s a car!”

Well, at least one person cared. It’s a well known fact that after learning Herbie’s true gender Dean Jones spent an entire afternoon throwing up.

Animal Kingdom Anniversary

Thursday, January 24th, 2008

Disney’s Animal Kingdom will celebrate its 10th Anniversary on April 22nd of this year. In keeping with the park’s theme, it won’t be guests but rather the parks animals that get to celebrate their first decade of captivity. Animals will receive a special birthday edible treat, and every creature — from the tallest giraffe to the nakedest mole rat — will sport a festive party hat (which will be quickly replaced if eaten).

More Hong Kong, Please!

Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008

Disney is considering purchasing an additional stake in Hong Kong Disneyland. The company hasn’t officially stated its reason for doing this, but according to one insider, “It’s just a gesture to show Disney’s confidence that everything is going to turn out fine — like when you’re playing Russian roulette and add a couple more bullets to the cylinder because you’re sure you’re not going to lose.”

Wendy Predicts Oscar Gold for Mickey

Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008

In honor of the announcement of Academy Award nomination, Wendy the Disney Psychic has hauled out her Ouija board to give us the lowdown on which Disney features will be “taking home the gold” (in the form of a little bald guy with no pants).

  • Best makeup: High School Musical 2 (despite appearances, no actor is younger than 37)
  • Best special effects: Meet the Robinsons (filmed entirely with blue screen)
  • Best animated short: WALL-E trailer (much better than Shrek 3)
  • Best documentary: National Treasure: Book of Secrets (a fascinating insight into American history)
  • Best actor: Game Plan — Dwayne Johnson (truly a brilliant thespian!)
  • Best animal performance: Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End — Wilbur the octopus for Davy Jones face (uncontested!)

Congratulations, Disney!

Big Fat Monorail Problem

Tuesday, January 22nd, 2008

After spending more than $2.6 trillion developing a new monorail for Disneyland, the super-modernistic vehicle is going to be sent to the scrap heap after traveling less than twelve feet on the park’s elevated track.

“The darned thing is just too wide,” says Monorail engineer Buzz Steamless on condition of anonymity. “It couldn’t even make it around the smallest turn without scraping against something. ” Speculation is that the new vehicles’ copious new features (including padded leather seating, interactive track lighting, lifeboats in case of a water landing, and a dining car) could not be contained within a standard-size vehicle, or that insisting that the entire monorail be hand crafted made it impossible for exacting building standards to be maintained.

Whatever the reason, and whomever the blame may fall on, the fact is that Disneyland will be one monorail short when the busy summer vacation season rolls around. Says Steamless, “We haven’t decided yet what we’re going to do about this. Either we’re going to just cram the things full and hope that the fire department looks the other way, or break out one of the old, horse-drawn monorails from when the park opened.”