Archive for December, 2007

Legal Ramifications of Character Interaction

Monday, December 17th, 2007

Apparently Disney lawyers suddenly realized that whenever guests interact with characters, they are taking part in a performance of sorts. For that reason, the following text now appears on signs near key character-greeting locations:

“By interacting with a Disney character, you fully and irrevocably authorize Disney Enterprises, Inc. and any of its affiliated entities (collectively, “Disney”) to publish or use your performance in whole or in part in any manner, to distribute the performance in any medium and through any media formats, technologies, and channels now known or hereafter devised. Further, you represent and warrant that your own or have the necessary rights, without the need for any permission from, or payment to, any other person or entity to use, and to authorize Disney to use, the content of your performance. You acknowledge that you will not be provided with any payment or other consideration for any use of your performance including the viewing of your performance by any guests present at the time of the performance, and you acknowledge that you have no expectation to be compensated or provided any credit for any use of your performance.”

And on the flip side of this coin, Disney is now keeping a watchful eye out for those who use Disney intellectual property during “performances” — including those without interaction with Disney characters — within the park. Just yesterday, a guests complained that he was presented with a “cease and desist” order for singing the Tiki Room song on an Adventureland walkway without legal permission.

T-Rex Stalled!

Friday, December 14th, 2007

Construction of the T-Rex restaurant in Downtown Disney has been halted indefinitely. Apparently, while digging the building’s new foundation, workers discovered a mineral pocket rich with fossilized trilobites. A Disney Archaeological Society cast member quickly identified them as new species and, under Florida law, ordered the dig site closed until the valuable fossils could be removed.

The opening of T-Rex will be delayed by at least a year. Said a Disney spokesperson of the delay, “Well, that’s ironic, isn’t it?” To which another spokesperson responded, “No, it’s just funny. You’re misusing ‘ironic’ again.” To which the first spokesperson responded, “Shut up, Howard.”

Adventures by Disney Tour Canceled

Thursday, December 13th, 2007

Adventures by Disney has canceled all of its”Coasting the Golden State” tour packages for 2008. Apparently not enough people were willing to fork over $3,000 to spend a week visiting Disney’s California Adventure. Although the company isn’t making any definitive statements, it is anticipated that tour will not return and will instead be mothballed like Adventures by Disney’s former “In Eisner’s Footsteps” and “Wonders of Burbank” tours.

Major Bust on WDW Property

Thursday, December 13th, 2007

Walt Disney World is located in Florida’s Weedy Creek Development District, a county completely owned and operated by the Walt Disney Company. This allows the company to pass laws that will be beneficial to its guests (such as the ban on the sale of thong bathing suits to very large men) and its corporate interests (e.g., the death penalty for unauthorized DVD duplication). It also empowers the company to maintain its own police force, and yesterday the WDWPD raided a room at the All Star Movies hotel and made their largest bust to date.

As everyone knows, sale and possession of chewing gum is not allowed on WDW property, but Johan Wrigley and three coconspirators (Lester “Chews” Kent, Eddie “Stretch” Sanford, and Amanda “Double Bubble” Irvine) were found with twelve full and partial packs of the stuff in their room — more than enough to show intent to distribute. Gum was found in stick (or “line”), ball (or “goofball”), and chicklet (or “rock”) form, and several packs were bubble gum (known as “blow” on the streets).

Officer Adele Buster — who recently gained fame for righteously ejecting guests from Disney property at 2 a.m. because their kid knew a kid who was in a fight when they weren’t there — headed the raid. “These predators had it coming,” said Buster. “They say they only had the stuff for personal use, but we found lots of cash in their room and that’s clear evidence that they’ve been selling. Who brings piles of cash on vacation? They’re just thinking of themselves and not of the kids who get their hands on this stuff, chew it, and next thing you know it’s not just in their mouth, it’s in their hair or on their shoe or the shoe of a complete stranger. Gum is a gateway to all kinds of evil. Maybe these dealers will change their ways, maybe we’ll get through to them, maybe this will be a wakeup call — and not one of those cool recorded wakeup calls from Mickey Mouse. In any case, two hours in WDW detention will give them something to chew on.”

The Return of Russell

Wednesday, December 12th, 2007

Actor Kurt “Vogel” Russell will be 57 next March, and is already planning a very special celebration for his 60th birthday in 2011. In coordination with Disney, Russell will be remaking and updating two films from early in his career. The first film, The One and Only, Genuine, Original Rest Home Band will be released in 2010, followed soon after by The Computer Wore Orthopedic Shoes in 2011.

After his work with Disney is complete, Russell will continue his birthday celebration by playing the corpse of Elvis in an upcoming John Carpenter production.

France’s Tower of Terror

Tuesday, December 11th, 2007

Walt Disney Studios Paris welcomed a new addition over the weekend — the thrilling Eiffel Tower of Terror. Guests visiting the new attraction are taken by elevator to the top of the imposing, skeletal structure where the ghost of a worker who died during its construction curses the conveyance and the elevator car plunges 986 feet to the ground!

Eiffel Tower of TerrorA retail store is cleverly positioned at the attraction’s exit so that guests can purchase souvenirs of their ride. There is also a photo spot where guests can have themselves digitally inserted into famous photos of the original landmark.

Dim Candlelight?

Monday, December 10th, 2007

While reviewing customer comments from this year’s Candlelight Ceremony and Procession at Disneyland, park management noticed one complaint arising again and again: although the ceremony was beautiful, it was just too difficult to see. To address this concern, next year Disneyland will introduce its first annual Klieg Light Ceremony and Processional.

An Anne Announcement

Saturday, December 8th, 2007

Today and tomorrow, Anne Geddes will be at the coincidentally named Anne Geddes store at Disneyland’s Downtown Disney. She will be available to sign babies for two hours each day. Anyone wishing to take her photo will have to wait for her to put on a darling little sunflower outfit.

Candy Cane Alert!

Friday, December 7th, 2007

Tomorrow morning, Disneyland’s Main Street candy shop will have a batch of its coveted candy canes available for purchase at park opening (limit two per extended family). The Orange County police SWAT team will be on hand to instantly quell any fomenting riots, and shoving, kicking, hitting, pushing, stabbing, and foul language will be strongly discouraged. Enjoy!

Disneyland Shanghai

Friday, December 7th, 2007

Hot on the success of Hong Kong Disneyland, rumors are strengthening about a new park, this time in Shanghai. Although at the moment there is nothing in concrete, a company insider tells us, “Disney is thinking of giving Shanghai Disneyland a strong pirate focus. The Pirates of the Caribbean films continue to be popular in Asia — they’re practically sold on every street corner — and let’s face it, nothing says ‘pirates’ like ‘Shanghai’!”