Archive for December, 2007

Goodbye, Disney/MGM!

Monday, December 31st, 2007

Today marked the official final day of Disney/MGM Studios existence. To celebrate the occasion, the park’s maintenance department called a press conference and — with great ceremony and accompanied by fireworks — blew up the entire park.

Apparently this was a mistake and the park was not scheduled for demolition. “We were just going to change the name,” said a member of park management on condition that she not be quoted. “We weren’t going to close. I guess we can rebuild, but it might take a while. The place was due for some freshening up anyway.”

Plans are to open the park as usual tomorrow with warning cones around craters and smoldering rubble, and what shows and attractions that can be salvaged presented on the remaining street or in tents.

WALL-E Comes to Tomorrowland

Friday, December 28th, 2007

In anticipation of the success of next year’s Pixar feature WALL-E, the film’s title character is being given a home in Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom. At the end of the first quarter of 2008, WDW guests will be able to see a fifth-generation animatronic WALL-E in Tomorrowland Carousel of Progress.

The WALL-E (whose name we’re already tired of typing, what with all the caps) will replace replacing the family dog in all scenes. WALL-E’s technology will be in keeping with the time of each scene, beginning with a “steampunk” robot, moving to a version created with vacuum tubes, then to a smaller “transistorized” creature, and ending with a nano-technology robot that is so small the audience won’t even be able to see it.

No Disneyland Shanghai!

Thursday, December 27th, 2007

There has been much speculation about Disneyland Shanghai, but today Disney spokespuppet Luke Funni announced that there are no plans to build another Disneyland clone in China. “The market’s just not there,” said Funni. “This has been demonstrated by Hong Kong Disneyland’s inability to attract visitors despite hundreds of acres of attractive landscaping largely uninterrupted by rides and attractions.”

Instead, Disney is going forward with plans for Disney’s California Adventure Shanghai, an exciting project that will bring the golden state to the land of the rising sun. As Funni describes it, “China loves everything about California. They wear our clothes, they pirate our movies — it’s like a phenomenon.”

We’ll keep you posted as details of attractions and building schedules are made available. Be sure to subscribe to our RSS feed so you won’t miss out!

Tim Burton Video Premier

Wednesday, December 26th, 2007

Disney’s new stop-motion-animal direct-to-video holiday special, The Nightmare Before Kwanzaa, premiers today. If you’ve seen it, e-mail us your review!

Happy Holidays!

Tuesday, December 25th, 2007

In honor of the holiday, Disney has decided to let all it’s employees spend the day with their families. All parks are closed. If you are currently staying in a Disney hotel, please be sure to make your own bed (guests at deluxe resorts should also leave a chocolate coin on their own pillow).

Merry Christmas!

Toys for Tots

Monday, December 24th, 2007

This year, Walt Disney World employees donated more than 23,000 toys to the annual Toys for Tots charity drive, and this year more of the toys were purchased (rather than taken from park overstock or lost and found) than ever before. Unfortunately, due to a bit of miscommunication, all the toys were delivered to Mr. Jacob Tots in Miami who, although he says he appreciates the thought, plans to have a very large garage sale just after the new year.

New Disney Ticket Special

Friday, December 21st, 2007

As a bit of a holiday surprise, Disney announced today that it would be offering — for a limited time — special discounted prices on Disneyland 3-day “Gateway Park Hopper” tickets. The tickets are good for three days of fun with unlimited park hopping between Disneyland and Hong Kong Disneyland.


Innoventions Innovations

Thursday, December 20th, 2007

The lower level of Innoventions at Disneyland has been closed for a while as it is completely reworked under new sponsorship by Microsoft. Sources report that the new area, to be known as the Innoventions Vista, will feature integrated displays of cutting edge technology that looks excellent, doesn’t necessarily work, and has trouble interfacing with some existing devices. Rumors further state that some Disney insiders are already making plans in case they have to put Innovations back like it was before the refurbishment because, “the old stuff may not have been perfect, but at least it worked!”

10 Popular Mixed Drinks

Wednesday, December 19th, 2007

From our secret source (April Westenhoftwein) within Disneyland, here’s a list of the ten most popular mixed drinks requested in Club 33 (in no particular order):

  1. Slippery Princess
  2. Mermaid on the Beach
  3. Sexy Alice
  4. Pirate Cove Ice Tea (was Tom Sawyer Island Ice Tea)
  5. Bloody Mary Poppins
  6. (We Wants) The Redhead
  7. Vodka Martini (“Toontowned, not teacupped”)
  8. Donald Daiquiri
  9. M-I-C K-E-Y Mar-T-I-N-I
  10. Flubber Shots

Note: At one time, #10 would have been Song of the Southern Comfort, but it is no longer available.

River Belle Returns

Tuesday, December 18th, 2007

Disneyland’s River Belle Terrace is scheduled to reopen today. It’s eight-month refurbishment was completed almost on time, and has resulted in the following improvements:

  • Mickey Mouse pancakes are now more symmetrical than ever.

Rumor has it that the restaurant’s continued existence is still in question, as it may eventually be “eaten up” as part of the long-planned Bengal Barbecue expansion.