Supersizing “it’s a small world”

Disneyland has announced that the popular “it’s a small world” attraction will be closed for a lengthy refurbishment in 2008. The refurbishment is largely intended to deal with problems caused by the gradual increase in the average size and weight of American.

“Because of changes in eating habits, Americans are bigger than they were back in the ’50s or ’60s or whenever it was that this attraction first opened,” said Disneyland spokesperson Dale Pluton. “This is causing Disneyland guests to react to ‘small world’ in ways that Marty Blare (or whoever) never intended.”

Reportedly, children are increasingly asking why the little children depicted in “it’s a small world” are starving, and occasionally the figures’ thin bodies and arms lead young guests to assume that they are intended to depict skeletons.

Says Pluton, “During the refurb, we’re going to be fattening all the dolls of American children up so that they are more in keeping with current body images. It hasn’t been decided if the children from other countries will follow suit. It’s a tough balance between meeting guest expectations and maintaining what little realism there is in the attraction.”

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