Top 10 Things to Do at Disneyland for Toddlers

May 24th, 2013
  1. Cry because you’re hungry.
  2. Cry because your parents are trying to feed you that “healthy” junk they brought from home.
  3. Cry because you want to go on a ride (Snow White, Pirates, Dumbo, etc.)
  4. Cry because the attraction you just went on (Snow White, Pirates, Dumbo, etc.) was scary.
  5. Cry because your parents won’t let you flee the gigantic animals with scary paralyzed faces until they take a picture.
  6. Cry because your parents won’t let you have fun*.
  7. Cry because you need a nap.
  8. Cry because your parents want you to take a nap.
  9. Cry because you’re over-stimulated.
  10. Cry because you’re going home.

*Get a toy, get out of line, have a balloon, ride in your stroller, get out of your stroller, run in the water, throw things at people, eat the plants, chase the ducks, go on Big Thunder, hit a stranger with a churro, see how loud you can scream inside a submarine, etc.

Top 10 Tips for Visiting Disneyland When You’re Pregnant

May 22nd, 2013

Heading to the Disneyland Resort while in the later stages of pregnancies? Here are a few tips you might find handy:

  1. Before going, memorize where all the restrooms are. All of them. Even the secret ones. Even the men’s rooms. (You’ll be glad you did.)
  2. Make your husband/partner/kids carry everything. You’re already hauling a baby around!
  3. Avoid anything that might make you nauseated (broccoli in restaurants, fake smells piped onto Main Street, princesses).
  4. Gloat about how you managed to sneak your unborn child into the park for free.
  5. Fantasize about giving birth right in front of the Partners statue and getting a free lifetime pass for your baby.
  6. Take a funny picture with a child’s Mickey Mouse ears hat and strapped to your stomach or with your tummy next to a “You must be this tall to enter” sign.
  7. Don’t allow yourself to be persuaded by internet rumors about how a couple of rides on the Tower of Terror can knock a full month off your due date.
  8. Ask if you can go on an attraction a second time without staying in line because you’re “riding for two.”
  9. Although it may be tempting to rest a popcorn bucket on your belly while sitting at the curb and waiting for a parade, don’t do it — if the baby kicks, there will be popcorn everywhere.
  10. Look for baby name inspiration! Mickey! Minnie! Pooh! Mulan! Rafiki! Chernabog! Main Street Station! They’re all wonderful, perfect, Disney-fan-child names!

Bonus tip for the emotionally needy: Go on the Jungle Cruise and when you see the elephants say “is that what I look like now?” and start crying. You’ll receive massive sympathy! Even from strangers! Near the end of the ride, when you’re sufficiently calmed down, point to the baby elephant near the dock, say “Is that what my baby’s going to look like?” and start the whole thing over again. (We admit that this doesn’t make much sense, but you can get an incredible amount of comfort and attention.)

Top Ten Disneyland Dining Tips

May 21st, 2013

Looking to get the best dining value and experience during your Disneyland Resort vacation? Here are our top 10 tips for making your Disneyland dining supercaloriefragiledeliciousexpenseanddessertious!

1. Get a priority seating

If there’s a particular restaurant you want to experience at a particular time without much of a wait, then getting a priority seating is incredibly important. Just call Disney Dining line (714-781-EGOD) exactly 60 days before you want to eat and let them know when you’d like to visit, how many adults and children will be in your party, what you’ll be eating, what you’re celebrating, any special food needs you have, where you’d like to sit, and how generously you tip. That’s all there is to it!

Remember, you can get a priority seating for any of the table-service restaurants, and can also order food ahead for pickup at counter-service restaurants and food carts. There’s nothing like walking up to a popcorn cart knowing that the popcorn’s already made and waiting for you!

2. Do your research

There’s nothing worse than knowing that mealtime is approaching but you have no idea where you want to go to eat. Before making your meal plans, research what restaurants are near to the attractions you want to experience around meal time. Then select the restaurant that sounds best to you, think about the people in your party, and ask yourself these questions? Is there something here that everyone can eat? Will everyone enjoy the theme? Will the atmosphere match our mood? What will everyone say when I tell them where we are eating? Does it matter all that much what everyone else thinks? Do they really have a right to complain when I’m the one planning everything? Why are they all such a bunch of complainers?

3. Eat at unpopular times

This is our favorite tip of them all (which is why we put it in the coveted third position)! You can have a more carefree dining experience if you avoid the crowds by eating at unpopular times. For example, have breakfast before any of the restaurants open, have lunch for dinner, and then have breakfast again for lunch! You can also visit a crowded restaurant during the dinner rush and only order soft drinks — that’s definitely unpopular!

4. Coordinate dining with park hours, early entry, and FASTPASS times

Timing is so important that we have to mention it twice! To fine-tune your meal timing make sure you:

  • Avoid making in-park dining reservations for times that the park is closed.
  • If early entry is available, you can have breakfast while other guests are either unable to get into the park or are wasting their time in lines that haven’t even had time to become entertainingly long.
  • Trick other guests by getting a FASTPASS for a popular attraction and then eating during the FASTPASS return window when everyone else expects you to be on a ride.

5. Lie about your age

If you don’t have a priority seating, you might be able to get a castmember to let you skip the line (or at least convince other guests to give you “cuts” in line) by claiming that you are either near death or a little baby.

You can also save money by claiming that you are young enough to order off the children’s menu (although you may need to pretend that you are several children in order to get enough food to feel full).

6. Eat on the go

Avoid the wait for a table by ordering your Blue Bayou Cajun monte cristo sandwich or Club 33 panda-fillet sliders in a handy “to go” bag.

7. Bring money

It’s a well-known fact that massive bribery can get you better food, better service, and a better table. Unfortunately, it’s also well known that the previous rule doesn’t apply to Disneyland where everything is fair and incorruptible. Even so, it is suggested that you bring plenty of money when dining in the resort in order to avoid delays caused by searching for your wallet, being chased down by a recently stiffed member of the wait staff, and filling out boring police reports.

8. Look for discounts

You likely won’t find them, but looking can be fun.

9. Remember the freebies!

If money’s tight, remember that there are plenty of free items available in or near Disneyland eateries, including water, condiments, coffee additives, napkins, and things people you wish aren’t going to finish.

10. Try new or “under the radar” restaurants

When popular eateries are overcrowded, try some of the lesser-known resort dining offerings, such as the Jungle Dinner Cruise, Cars Land’s Grease Rack, and the trunk of your car where you left the cooler full of Subway sandwiches.

Line Free Monday!

April 1st, 2013

Sorry for the late-breaking news, but our inside sources have discovered that today — Monday — Disneyland will be inviting annual passholders to beta test a new service: Line Free.

Line Free isn’t a new version of FASTPASS; it’s an entirely new system. Guests who have a Line Free RFID wristband will be able to enter any attraction — Star Tours, Space Mountain, Peter Pan, Dumbo, or anything else — without waiting in line. This isn’t a separate line or a single rider line, but a guarantee that when you want to ride, there will be no line at all! Just walk on — no waiting!

The wristband will work for food locations as well. Want a churro? There’s no line. Popcorn? No line. Dinner at the Blue Bayou? Just walk on in and your food is already at the table, waiting for you. Character autographs are equally easy to get; show your wristband, step in front of the other guests, and get Alice’s autograph while the curses of the less privileged roll off your back like river water off a feral duck. When the program leaves beta and becomes generally available, it will even work for park entry, retail locations, parades, hotel rooms, and restrooms! Even posted park hours won’t apply!

There is no way to sign up for the Line Free beta ahead of time. For one day only, randomly selected annual passholders will be invited to participate in the test when they enter Disneyland park. If you visit the park but are not invited to participate, we suggest that you exit the park (do not get a hand stamp!) and re-enter, showing your valid annual pass again. Repeat until you are selected. You may get some funny looks from cast members at the gate and/or be questioned by security, but believe us — if you follow these instructions, you won’t be waiting in line for any attractions!

Photoland: “it’s a small snapshot”

March 16th, 2013

Our last picture in this series is of an attraction that needs no introduction. In fact, it’s so iconic, that we don’t even need to tell you it’s name (“it’s a small world”):

Photoland: it's a small snapshot

At the time we took this picture, the attraction was closed (which is why there are grumpy and/or crying children stomping through the foreground), but the older picture shows it in happier days, filled with laughing children and with a train passing through. Sharp-eyed readers may even be able to catch a glimpse of one of the old topiary hedgehogs in the flowerbed (which are no longer produced, since they are too difficult to cultivate and were often “borrowed” by mischievous guests).

We hope you’ve enjoyed this photo tour through Disneyland history. Thanks for visiting the past with us!

Next up: Nothing

Photoland: Now You’ve Seen Most Everything

March 15th, 2013

This photo…

Photoland: Now You've Seen Most Everything

…is one of only a very few that we have of Fantasyland. It’s very difficult to match up photos of the original Fantasyland with today’s Fantasyland, since the current version was a completely new design and construction, made necessary when the original Fantasyland was packed up and moved to Disneyworld’s Magic Kingdom.

Next up: One last little thing

Photoland: Out of Toon

March 15th, 2013

This photo makes us a little bitter:

Photoland: Out of Toon

The old picture was taken during a dark, dark time in Disneyland history when management was unwilling to spend more money on park upkeep than was absolutely necessary and the bulk of the park’s electricity came from a dynamo powered by Walt Disney spinning in his grave. Paint is chipped, the Mickey clock is showing the wrong time, and look at how drab and faded everything looks when compared to the bright, beautiful, whimsical Toontown of today!

Thank goodness those days are long gone and we can have pride in our park again!

Next up: Kind of a dumb one

Photoland: Golden Horsephotos

March 14th, 2013

We have two from the Golden Horseshoe Saloon this time. First, an exterior:

Photoland: Golden Horsephotos exterior

Sadly, most of those advertisements and props for the original show are no longer there. But even though the original Golden Horseshoe Review has moved into the history books, the Billy Hill and the Hillbillies show…

Photoland: Golden Horsephotos interior

…has taken its place as a beloved Frontierland mainstay. What’s particularly nice about this photo is that you can see one of the current performers at the left in the current photo, and in the central picture see what he looked like in his younger days!

Next up: Toon in tomorrow!

Photoland: Columbia Down Under

March 14th, 2013

The below-decks area of the Columbia opened a few years after the ship itself first took sail on the Rivers of America. Here, guests could see how real sailors lived in days of old. For example, there’s this pot of fish stew…

Photoland: Columbia Down Under fish stew

…that’s been cooking for several decades, and the captain’s quarters…

Photoland: Columbia Down Under captain's cabin

…which teach us that we should never try to take a heavily backlit picture of a photo printed on cheap paper with a home photo printer while standing in a dark room using a consumer-grade digital camera. But we bet a real sailor would have known that already!

Next up: All that glitters

Photoland: Columbia Pictures

March 13th, 2013

There’s not much to say about the Columbia:

Photoland: Columbia Pictures

It hasn’t changed a lick over the years — at least not on the outside. Things are a little more interesting below decks, though, and we’ll have something to say about that tomorrow.

Next up: Something to say something about